


A fool at heart

by pinkvinyls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Obi-Wan Kenobi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Omega Anakin Skywalker, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23787733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvinyls/pseuds/pinkvinyls
Summary: Anakin always kept his secrets close to himself, knowing the consequences of his actions to be too disastrous to let anyone know. He had kept one so close to himself that he could have almost forgotten it even existed, until one mission came and tore it all away from his hands.Anakin felt himself grow even further out of control, his sanity was slipping through his fingers like water, he could not hold onto it. Someone had to do it for him, contain him and guarantee that nothing, no one could reach him and take advantage. There was only one person who deserved his trust, one person who had the power to protect him from all the other alphas. “Help me, Obi-Wan.” He grabbed the hand that was still holding his face so tenderly. “Please, Master, I need you.”
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 58
Kudos: 513





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm introducing myself to this fandom via A/B/O fan fiction, but such is life. 
> 
> Hope you like it and if you do, let me know!

The bitter coldness of the ship seeped into Anakin, his body already too tired to fight it off, and made his muscles ache. He was at the brink of exhaustion, having only had one day to rest before he and Ahsoka had been sent out as reinforcement to a battle in one of the Outer Rim planets that Obi-Wan was commanding. So much time had went by since he had last fought by Obi-Wan’s side and it sure had been quite fun to show off all he had learned in their time spent apart. But now all he truly wanted was a long and hot shower in the ‘fresher, just something to relax the tension in his body. 

After Anakin was finished, he stood in front of the mirror and took out a small bottle. He only put a small amount of the viscous fluid on his finger and applied it to his neck, right on his scent glands. The receipt to this lifesaving scent blocker was something his mother had passed down to him. It was one of the first things he had learned from her, how to hide his true nature. There was only one fate for an enslaved omega and his mother had done everything in her power to protect him from that horror, a slave not only to his master but also his body, drugged and forced into an eternal heat. Not only bound by paper, but also by matehood. So he continued her teachings and applied it every single day, remembering her warmth and tender care each time. 

No one knew the truth about his status. No one but  _ Padme.  _ Dear, lovely Padme was the only one he could trust not to use this knowledge against him, to everyone else, it could end up becoming a weakness to exploit and use against him, consciously or not. They would treat him differently, look at him with different eyes, he would lose the respect he had fought for so hard and long. There would be restrictions put in place, just because of what he was, he would lose some of the freedom he had gained. That was not something he could allow to happen,  _ ever.  _

Anakin shook his head, refusing to continue this train of thought, and stepped out of the fresher into his room and hastily put on some clothes before the cold could take hold of him again. The moment he dropped onto his bed, his comlink blinked and with an annoyed groan, he stood up again and made his way to the conference room, where Obi-Wan and Ahsoka were already waiting for him. 

Their mixed alpha scents greeted him, clogging up his nose. Ahsoka’s was weaker, she had not yet presented fully, but Obi-Wan’s was strong and heady in the air. His sandalwood scent had always been intense to him and it surrounded him whenever they stood side by side, cloaking him in. It was reassuring and off-setting at the same time. It appealed to him on such an intimate level and his own reactions to it repelled him. He could not afford such vulnerability in front of an alpha, no matter who it was. The stakes were just too high to allow for desire to cloud his mind. 

“Surprisingly early today, Skyguy,” Ahsoka said with a lazy grin on her lips. 

Obi-Wan turned around to face him, his arms crossed over his chest, and gave him a stern glare that lost all its ill-meaning with the following smile. “But still late, as always.”

“Or just in time,” Anakin replied smugly, tilting his head to the newly projected holograms of a few Council members. “My timing never fails me.”

Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head lightly. “If only, Anakin, if only.” Then he walked closer to the holograms and turned his back to him.

Ahsoka nudged his side after he made no move to follow and approached Obi-Wan, Anakin followed suit. “I thought a shower would have woken you up, Master.”

He didn’t honor her comment with a reply, instead he turned his gaze to the Council and noticed the worried faces surrounding them. Things were about to get serious, as always. He sighed and forced himself to focus on the mission lying ahead.

“We have gained intel on a high ranking and popular politician, Tiro Kain, who plans to ally himself with the Separatists, he is a leading force for multiple planets and holds much sway over the mid rim, too much to allow for this alliance to deepen. We have had our suspicions about him for a while now, but now we finally have enough evidence to further our investigation,” Mace Windu spoke gravely, pausing to give them time to mull over the revealed information.

“How have you gained this evidence?” Obi-Wan asked with a raised brow.

“One of our informants caught wind about a rumour about Tiro and trailed it to its source. There is a bounty on a woman, a guard of Tiro, and the price on her head was put there by no other than Tiro’s henchmen. This same woman reached out to us and asked us for help. If we keep her safe and give her a new life in the Core, she will testify against her former employer. She has crucial information, we have to protect her and bring her to Coruscant. Since you are the team closest to Lur, you have been chosen for this mission.” Mace Windu let his gaze wander over each of them and leaned forward on his chair.

“I understand,” Obi-Wan said, thoughtful and deeply concentrated, the way he usually was when assessing a new mission. “How many bounty hunters should we expect?”

“He has enough money to afford the best, so prepare for a storm. Our only luck is that she was once quite a capable hunter herself. It’s the reason she is still alive. She will meet you at the coordinates we sent you, in a day’s time."

“Who exactly is she?” Ahsoka asked, eyebrows quirked up as she looked at the present Masters.

Anakin bit back a smile and faced away from her, returning his focus on the Council.

“Stryka.” A woman’s face was projected. Her two horns and blue hewed skin revealed her to be a Chagrian. The hard set of her jaw made her appear grim and her stare was piercing and cold. It was hard to imagine someone like her asking anyone for help.

“We’ll keep you updated,” Obi-Wan replied after a second, putting an end to the meeting.

“May the force be with you,” Mace Windu said, closing the projection, so that they were once again on their own. 

“I’ll enter the coordinates and set the course,” Anakin briefly grabbed Ahsoka’s shoulder to excuse himself and went to the cockpit. For a second, he thought Obi-Wan was going to follow him, but after a few steps in the same direction, he turned left, leaving Anakin to his own devices.

* * *

  
  


Landing on Lur had been an easy affair. A landing as effortless as this one always set him on edge, it felt too deliberate, like something was trying to lure him into a false sense of security. Anakin didn’t like it one bit. He looked out of the viewport with grim eyes. Lur’s landscape was mostly flat, no trees or mountains erupted from the ground, it was all even and made up of what appeared like blackened tree stumps, lined with a shimmery blue. Its sky was of the same blue, dark and bright at the same time. With a sigh, he stood up and left the cockpit. After having packed everything he needed, he stepped out of the ship and joined Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, who were stretching their muscles, probably stiff from the flight.

The planet was surprisingly warm, the air humid and oppressive. It was the kind of climate that made your skin clammy with sweat. His dislike grew even more in that moment. He would have to use more of the scent blocker, but luckily for him, the ingredients were easy enough to gain no matter what system he was on. 

“Not up to your taste?” Obi-Wan asked after noticing the disdain clear on his face. 

“I just have a bad feeling about this,” Anakin replied with furrowed brows, letting his eyes roam over the open landscape. “We should hurry and find Stryka before the bounty hunters beat us to it.”

Ahsoka nodded and took out the navigator from her bag, leading them on. They walked for a while and their surroundings didn't change at all, everything was eerily similar to each other, as if they had made no progress at all. How anyone was able to orient himself on this cursed place was a mystery to Anakin. It felt like another type of desert, dry and warm and never changing in its appearance.

His padawan stopped in her tracks and raised her hand. "We've reached the coordinates." She looked around, her face showing more and more confusion. "There is nothing out here."

Obi-Wan crossed his arms and began to caress his beard. He directed his eyes to the ground, tracking the lines of the tree stumps, then he kneeled down and touched their surface with a look of concentration on his face, using the Force to search for living beings.

"It's underground," Obi-Wan said, rising from the ground. “And if we follow the lines, the entry should be right here.” He pointed at a large tree stump that lied lower than the rest. They moved towards it and after stopping for a short moment, they stepped onto it. The next second they were falling down into darkness.

Anakin braced himself for the coming impact of the inevitable landing and used the Force to slow down the speed of his fall. When the first contact with the ground was made, Anakin rolled to the side and ended up on all fours. A sudden light source illuminated the space around him and his team. He raised his head and saw someone approach them, someone heavily armed. Anakin sprang to his feet and moved his hand to the hilt of his lightsaber, broadening his shoulders and waiting for the figure to reveal itself. 

“So you have finally reached me,” a female voice said somberly. Her voice revealed her old age and as she finally stepped into the light, her blue and horned face marked her as their charge for the duration of this mission. “I hope the journey was pleasant.” She smiled at them, it was not particularly warm or heartfelt, but rather distant and polite.

“Very much so,” Obi-Wan replied, returning her polite smile with one of his own. There was such a variety to his smiles, Anakin thought as he looked at him, and he knew just which one to use to transform the mood around him to his wishes.

“Follow me,” Stryka demanded, turning around and walking into the dark, blue lights went on as she passed and brightened the corridor. She stopped in front of a door and opened it with her fingerprint. They entered what appeared to be her hideout, walls lined with multiple weapons and there was an intricate hologram of Tiro Kain’s network in the middle of the room. 

“I need to pack up some of my belongings and then we can discuss how we’ll survive the next days,” she started to speak, pausing for a second before she continued. “If I could have avoided contacting the Jedi for help, I would have, but without you, my chances of making it out of this planet alive are very low. At this late age, I’m longer at the peak of my performance, those days are long over. And I’m sick of doing the dirty work for corrupt men, I am more than ready to retire now, but not before I take that disgusting man down with me.”

“Why are you turning against him now?” Anakin asked. He found it hard to read her. Like everyone else, she was only showing what she was willing them to see and what she had shown so far differed greatly from his expectation.

“There is only so much evil that you can tolerate, before your conscience forces you to riot. Tiro was never a good man, he always did dirty business, made too much money fooling the people who follow him, but now he is a war profiteer. He is ready to sacrifice entire systems to fill his pockets with money, but I am not. That is all that I will say, if you want to hear the rest, then you’ll need to show up at the court meeting.”

“Well, alright,” Ahsoka said, dragging each word out. She was watching Anakin, waiting for him to say something, trying to foretell how he was going to react. But he just nodded at Stryka and crossed his arms, waiting for her to finish packing up.

Obi-Wan stepped forward from his position. “Do you have any idea who he might have sent after you?”

“To be honest, I don’t. There are just too many options and so many of the current bounty hunters die and get replaced by someone else. But I think Tiro is the kind of man that employs a multitude of bounty hunters to get the job done.”

“That’s what we thought as well. But you are not the first one to be protected by us, so be well assured.” Obi-Wan gave her a reassuring smile and locked eyes with him for a second before he walked past him to the hologram. “It’s best that we get off this planet as fast as possible.”

* * *

  
  


They took the same way out, leaving the darkness of the underground behind to greet the warm light of the surface. Stryka stood in their midst, flanked by them on all sides. Anakin observed their surroundings, seeing nothing suspicious, and waited for Ahsoka to lead them back to their ship. She started to walk and then stopped, realization bloomed on her face.

“Weird,” Ahsoka whispered as she stared down at the navigator.

“What?” Anakin asked, moving to stand next to her.

“The ship seems to have moved. It’s farther away now!”

Anakin snapped his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at Stryka. “Do you have an explanation for this?”

“Shouldn’t you?” Stryka’s face became aloof. “This is nothing unusual for this planet. The ground is alive, it can move and change, but only so much.” 

“Interesting,” Obi-Wan muttered, walking up to him and settling a hand on his shoulder, probably to ensure that he stayed calm. Having him stand so close, Anakin could once again pick up on his sandalwood scent. He had no choice but to inhale it and have it muddle his mind. To escape its dizzying effect, Anakin snapped at Obi-Wan’s hand and moved away from him. It made him so angry, that he could not deny this part of himself that reacted in such  _ base  _ ways to his former Master. It was becoming harder and harder to resist the instincts that came with his sex. His shame grew once again and buried its sharp claws deeper into his flesh. 

“Let’s carry on. We don’t have time to waste,” Anakin spat out, unable to keep the scowl off his face, so he turned his head away to where no one could see his morose face. He heard Ahsoka sigh as she showed the way and practically felt Obi-Wan shake his head behind his back. It seemed that nothing had changed yet, everything was the way it was supposed to be. 

They continued their journey back to the ship, their pace steady and fast. Anakin walked ahead of the group, unable to slow down. He wanted this mission to be over with, the only good that came with it was the knowledge that they would have to spend at least one day on Coruscant and if he was lucky, he would get a few hours with Padme out of it. He had missed her so much, she knew how to soothe his worries, how to calm the storm that was always raging inside him, threatening to destroy what little stability he had built in his life. Her friendship meant everything to him.

A sudden crash pulled him out of his head and got him cursing at himself for letting himself grow distracted. He took his lightsaber in hand and ignited it, watching as three starfighters descended and landed around them. Their hangers opened at once and multiple armed and masked beings stormed out, weapons drawn against them, but blaster bolts were easy enough to defend against and reflect. 

Anakin tracked their movement and started his own counter attack, dashing forwards, knowing that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got his back covered. He wielded his lightsaber, striking down one after another, taking out those that dared to approach him. He acted on pure instinct, his mind clear of any thoughts, for once empty and merciful, it didn't last long though. It was disappointing, how easy it was to defeat them. 

For the first time since the battle had started, Anakin turned around to see how the rest of his team was faring, not at all surprised to see that they were holding their own. Just as he wanted to join their side, a blaster bolt landed in front of his feet, cutting him off his way and tearing his gaze away from his team to a tall human male who had taken off his mask. When he saw Anakin staring at him, he began to grin, the pale skin of his face wrinkling with his mad glee. He raised a brow and tilted his head to the side, the challenge clear in his glinting eyes. 

The man kept his weapon drawn against him and started to walk backwards. Anakin dashed forwards, striding towards him, his lightsaber lax in his hand. The bounty hunter started to run away from him, using his blaster to fire a rain of bolts against him and Anakin deflected each and every one of them, but the bounty hunter was quick on his feet and dodged whatever bolt was reflected back at him. 

Anakin knew exactly what the bounty hunter’s intention was, he knew it but he just couldn’t resist the temptation to beat that smug grin off his face. There was something almost lecherous about the way he watched Anakin, it was not the usual hatred or even fear his enemies showed him. He was assessing Anakin as if he was nothing but prey to hunt down and devour whole, like he himself was the perfect predator to take him down. And now he was separating Anakin from his group to corner him alone, for his final attack. 

The bounty hunter finally stopped his game of chase and moved into a fighting stance. Before the fight could ensue, Anakin dared to take a look back and could barely make out Ahsoka or Obi-Wan from where he stood, there was already so much distance between them. 

“We are finally on our own, boy.”

Ever since Anakin had built his reputation as the Hero with no Fear, not many enemies dared to show him such disrespect, especially not weak ones. They were too afraid to provoke his ire, knowing the consequences to be too dire to try. Only powerful enemies like Dooku had dared to and survived it. So who was this man and what gave him the audacity to speak like this to him?

“Don’t you know who I am? Who are you calling a boy?” Anakin hissed, his lightsaber already drawn and ready to slice through his enemy.

“Oh, don’t worry. I know exactly who you are, Anakin Skywalker, former slave of Tatooine and now Jedi General. I also know what you are, boy. I know what you’re hiding, what you’ve always hidden.”

The following shock at those words left him shell-shocked, demobilized and open for attack. It lasted but a moment and was replaced by the kind of fear that left him breathless. He didn’t know what to do, he had never prepared for the possibility of anyone  _ knowing.  _ And the bounty hunter withered his fear like the predator he thought himself to be and strided towards him, unraveling the scarf around his neck. When Anakin started to breathe again, he could smell the alpha stench emitted by him. Instinctively, he took a step back, growing more and more defensive. 

A moment was all he needed before he turned all his fear into rage. The bounty hunter sensed this change and started to mock him once again. 

“You are nothing without that weapon, nothing without the Force. If I took your lightsaber and put a force-inhibitor on you, you would grovel at my feet. You would have to show me your neck and let me scent you for me to show mercy for something weak like you.” There was that mad man’s smile on his face again, as he was taunting him, provoking him. 

Anakin growled at him and wrestled him into the ground, keeping him down with his body weight. Without him even realizing, his hands had found their way to the bounty hunter’s throat. His mind was undone, control long forgotten and all he truly felt was that particular mix of fright and hatred he felt whenever he had been forced to submit, but now he had the upper hand, now he had the  _ power _ to resist and unleash his vengeance. He tightened his hold and watched with glee as that disgusting face became red and purple. 

Anakin was so lost to his rage, that he only noticed the syringe when it was already too late, the needle jabbed into the flesh of his neck. He stumbled away from the bounty hunter and grabbed at his neck. Whatever had been injected into him, it burned and spread in his system as a searing heat. 

“You won’t be able to hide anymore, general. Now everyone will know that you are nothing but a sweet smelling omega with a pretty face. Don’t fight it anymore, it’s useless and futile.” His voice was still scratchy from being choked, but he was still able to laugh as he watched horror settle over Anakin’s face.

With the last of his remaining strength, Anakin stood up and ignited his lightsaber and with one fast strike, he cut off the alpha’s head, unable to hear another one of his taunts. And as he stared into those empty eyes and saw the sneer that was still on his mouth, Anakin regretted dishing out such a merciful death. He could still feel the lust for violence in his veins, it called out for more blood, but the body in front of him had nothing left to offer. 

The longer he stood, the harder it became to form a coherent thought. Nausea was rushing through him, making the ground beneath him shake and move away from him. He was in a free fall, he swore he could feel the air cut through him as he fell, he felt his heartbeat begin to quicken, his heart was starting to beat against his chest. But when he opened his eyes, he still stood on weak legs.

Anakin stumbled away and fell to his knees, his hand moved to his neck and took it in a tight grip, as if he could stop whatever substance had been injected into him from spreading any further and wreaking anymore havoc.

“Anakin!” He heard someone call out, but his mind was too muddled to discern who it was. Anakin slowly turned his head around and saw Obi-Wan approach him. He raised his hand and tried to shout at him to stay away, but what came out of his mouth was barely comprehensible. 

Obi-Wan came ever closer and Anakin began to panic, he could not know how he would react to him. He was an alpha and Anakin an omega at the brink of falling into a forced heat. Proximity was a danger they could not afford.

“Is it true, Anakin? Are you an omega?” Obi-Wan’s voice was gentle, there was a softness to it that he only bothered with when he knew that Anakin was lost to one of his turmoils. But it couldn’t reach him, not when the one thing he had never wanted to happen, just did. Not now, not when it came to this.

There was such a horrifying sense of doom that overcame him in that moment, so much uncertainty and fear, it nearly unmade him. He could only crawl away from Obi-Wan, something in him screamed at him to find some reclusive place to hide away in and he hated it, hated himself for being so weak, for letting his instincts take over and rule over his mind. He should be above this, but he wasn’t. He succumbed to his body’s needs with such ease, it was truly disgusting. 

Obi-Wan still came closer, taking such careful steps, keeping his hands up as if Anakin was nothing but a wounded animal, scared and only one wrong move away from bolting and disappearing. Soon Anakin was able to take in his scent, only it was much stronger than it ever had been, his sense of smell amplified by pre-heat. With the scent of a familiar alpha close by, Anakin felt himself grow hotter and hotter, until he felt as though his insides were furnace-hot, the fire in him liquiding anything solid in his body and making him pliant and mendable to the alpha in front of him. He felt salvia collect in his mouth and slick leak out of him and he just wanted it all to stop, the shame was so poignant that it sliced right through him.

There wasn’t just heat and arousal wrecking his body, there was also a deep ache, pain that coursed through his system. It was a need unfulfilled, denied for too long that was now roaring out loud to be satisfied. A sob escaped him, giving voice to his weakness, his failure to keep it all to himself. He could only close his eyes and let the tears slide down his face. It was already too late. He had lost this lifelong game of hide and seek, now he could only surrender to his fate.

His eyes were still closed when he felt a hand palm his face, wiping away the tears. He shut his eyes even tighter and leaned into the touch, a soft sigh leaving his mouth. It was so soothing, so calming in the middle of this storm. It grounded him and gave him a little clarity where only confusion and want had been. Anakin opened his eyes and stared at Obi-Wan, his gaze feverish and wide-eyed. His eyes trailed down the lines of his body, taking in the way his muscles stretched against his clothing, the sheer  _ girth  _ of the alpha in front of him, so strong and durable, a true warrior. He wanted to touch that body, feel it move against his own skin. A groan broke away from him before he could suppress it, he was simply too agitated by his own fantasies. 

Anakin felt himself grow even further out of control, his sanity was slipping through his fingers like water, he could not hold onto it. Someone had to do it for him, contain him and guarantee that nothing,  _ no one  _ could reach him and take advantage. There was only one person who deserved his trust, one person who had the power to protect him from all the other alphas. “Help me, Obi-Wan.” He grabbed the hand that was still holding his face so tenderly. “Please, Master, I need you.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened and Anakin caught the way his breath hitched, he was drawing closer until there was only an inch between their faces and he could feel hot breath glide across his skin. It send a thrilling rush through his mind, to see how affected Obi-Wan was because of him. Anakin reached out a hand to touch him, to finally feel those muscles move beneath his fingers and leaned forward. But before they could touch each other even further, Obi-Wan pushed him down and jumped back to his feet, away from him and out of reach. Anakin whined at the loss of contact, petulant and cross with him for being denied but too weak to stand up and do something about it.

“I’ll get you to our ship and we will return to the temple. No one will hurt or use you and that also includes me,” Obi-Wan spoke through clenched teeth, restraint making his voice sound rough and deep. He crouched down and put his arms under Anakin’s fevered body, heaving him up. “We will get through this, Anakin, like we always do.”

Obi-Wan kept talking to him, his rich voice eased his anxiety and pacified him as they made their way back to the ship. Anakin was barely able to understand him, he could only feel the places where they touched, he could only see the alpha’s neck so close now to his mouth and taste that familiar sandalwood scent on his tongue. Oh, he was growing more and more delirious. He could not allow himself to forget that the alpha that he was drooling over was no other than Obi-Wan, his former Master, his brother in arms, his best friend, his secret desire. Anakin turned his face away from his neck and loosened a band of leather from his arm, folding it over and putting it in his mouth to bite into. He would not debase himself any further, he would not lose any more of his dignity by falling all over Obi-Wan, who probably didn’t even want him, not like that, never like that.

It suddenly became dark and cold around him and soon Obi-Wan laid him down on something soft, draping blanket after blanket over him. Then he was gone, taking away with him the comfort and bliss of his scent, his warmth. He wanted to reach out, to scream for him to stay, but he was too weak. This forced heat was pulling him under until he was at the bottom of the sea and the pressure was so high that there was only just enough strength left to breathe, to survive in the cold darkness on his lonesome. 


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, it helped me through most of my online classes. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it as well and feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Time passed in such an awful manner when in heat. Seconds, minutes and days, they all bled into each other. A day passed in a second, a second lasted a day. There was only madness, only delirium keeping him company, making him yearn for unspeakable things and see his fantasies come alive, only to be left with the bitter aftertaste of realizing that it had been nothing but an illusion. It didn’t quench his thirst for touch, it heightened it and gave it a sharp edge until it grew into a monster he could not satisfy. This monster only wanted more and more, there were no bounds to its hunger. 

His fingers were not enough, all the toys that had somehow found their way into his quarantined room were not enough. He needed what only an alpha could give him. He needed Obi-Wan and it hurt just how much his body was forcing him to admit to himself just of strongly he felt for that man. 

Anakin just wanted him by his side, he wanted to be taken care of by him. To have him give him water to drink and food to eat while sitting next to him, to put his cooling hand on his hot forehead. But that wasn’t all, was it? He wanted Obi-Wan to touch him all over, he wanted to feel all that skin himself, he wanted him to take him apart under his practiced fingers. Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to fuck him, to possess him, to love him in all the ways possible. But Obi-Wan never came, because what he wanted was unattainable, a fantasy that would never be fulfilled. 

* * *

  
  


His mind cleared, a slow tide after the flood. All the water that had subdued him was ebbing away until he could finally think again. And now that he was back to his senses, Anakin duly noted that he was still in in the room of his ship and not at the temple. He could have sworn that they had landed, they were on Coruscant, so why was he still here?

Anakin tried to stand up and failed, his legs were still too shaky to carry him. He let out a frustrated growl and sat down at the edge of the bed, refusing to lie down for even a second. He needed to shower badly, his body was sticky with old sweat and other fluids. It was disgusting. 

After waiting a few minutes to allow his body to regain some strength, he went into the 'fresher and finally cleansed himself of all the filth he had accumulated over the days. When he was finished and thoroughly clean, he went back into his room and took the sheets and blankets off his bed, he couldn't endure the thought of someone else seeing the mess he had made. His pride wouldn't allow it, so he got rid of all the evidence.

Standing in front of the door, Anakin hesitated. For the first time since his heat had stopped, dread arose in him. They  _ knew  _ now, there was no hiding anymore, just like that cursed piece of an alpha had said. His shameful secret had been torn out of his hands and he had been mercilessly exposed. 

His hands grasped at the door, gliding down and falling away from it as he collapsed forward and leaned against the cool durasteel with his forehead. He started to breathe faster and more shallowly while his vision became fuzzy, unable to focus. This just couldn't be happening, not after all the effort and pain he put into his cover. It was all for nothing now. They all fucking  _ knew.  _

Anakin didn't want to face anyone, he didn't want to see the pity in their eyes or their disdain. They had no right to react to him, to his true identity. The only one he wanted to see was Padme. She would understand him, she would know how to comfort him, she was smart and wise enough to know what he had to do to survive this. He had to get to her, before anyone else could notice that he had returned to the living and sane.

He smeared all that was left of his scent blocker on his neck, put on a robe that covered his face and unlocked the door, making his way out of the ship without being discovered. When he stepped foot on ground, he jumped off the landing site and quickly delved into the dense crowd of Coruscanti citizens while making sure to leave no trail to follow behind.

As he made his way through the crowds, he began to notice something remiss, something that he had been spared all his life. The few alphas he encountered on his way to Padme watched him with keen eyes, they took notice of him and their gazes burned into him, following him wherever he went. His scent had to be out of control, they must be able to smell it on him. He drew the robe even tighter around himself and quickened his pace. 

* * *

  
  


Anakin sat down on the sofa in the spacious and well decorated living room of Padme’s apartment and waited for her to arrive home. Over the years, her apartment had become his second home, a place to be himself without any pretenses. He leaned forward and took a datapad into his hand, sending Padme a distress call. He needed a solution and there wasn’t much time left before Obi-Wan figured out that he had left the ship. 

As he waited, he grew more and more restless with nervous energy. He had just been through his second heat, a heat he had been forced into, and it had once again happened in the middle of a mission. It was just typical, the universe loved to make him suffer. 

His first heat had been just as bad, if not worse for everything that happened afterwards. All the years beforehand, he had somehow repressed any and all thoughts regarding his status as an omega, but then his heat had hit him and forced him to face the truth. It had happened while he had been on the Lake Retreat on Naboo with Padme and thwarted his plans to woo her into a relationship beyond friendship. He remembered each cursed day vividly, the pain of his growing body, the shame that came with those changes and the horrible dream of what came after. Had Padme not been with him, he was sure he would not have survived any of it. Everything had happened so fast, his heat, the nightmares, the death of his mother, his revenge and then the war that he was still fighting to this day. It had felt like the beginning of the end and it had been an end to life as he had known it. 

Anakin relaxed into the couch and buried his face in his hands with a resigned sigh. Waiting did things to his psyche that rarely boded well, to put it mildly. Not able to bear it any second longer, he stood up and began to pace through the apartment, his restlessness made it impossible to stand still. 

Padme arrived a few minutes later, the simplicity of her still impressive outfit probably meant that she had planned to go off-planet. She stormed into the living room and ran up to him, slinging her arms around his neck in a heartfelt embrace. How many months had passed since they had last seen each other alone? Anakin tightened his arms around her waist and took in her lovely perfume, he had missed her so much. 

“Anakin, what happened?” Padme asked as she moved them back to the couch. “Is everything okay?”

Anakin just shook his head and turned away from her concerned eyes. “Nothing is okay.”

“Ani,” she whispered, laying her hand on his shoulder. “Tell me.”

“I just went through heat, in the middle of a mission. Obi-Wan was there, Ahsoka too, even a stranger. The Council probably knows it too by now. They all know that I’m an omega.” The panic sounded clear through his voice, there was no way he could hold it back, not when it was this strong.

“But how? The heat suppressants I supply you with are the safest and best option on the market, there is no chance that they failed.”

“I was injected with a heat drug and no suppressant can overrule its effect. And going off of what that bastard said, it’s probably one of the permanent inhibitors. It was planned, this whole mission was just a trap and I fell right into it.”

Padme’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “But who could have known? We were so careful, you were always so careful. We have to find the culprit.”

“Oh, I will find them. But first, I will have to deal with the Council. They have just found out that I have lied to them for years. I don’t know how they’ll punish me. They won’t understand why I had to hide my status. They never understand anything.” His being omega would have just been another reason to reject him, just like his old age, his emotional reactivity to their questioning had been. He hadn’t wanted to add oil to the fire, so he had kept it to himself, just like his mother had always told him to. 

Padme remained silent as she mulled over what he had said. “And what about Obi-Wan? Won’t he help you? He always does.”

Anakin averted his eyes. “I don’t know if I can face him right now.” A pause. “He was with me when I was already in heat. He  _ saw  _ me like that and I behaved like an- like an animal.” His voice broke into a shout at the end. 

Padme stood up from the couch and moved to stand in front of him, taking his face into both her hands. “It’s not your fault, Anakin. It was out of your control and I’m sure that Obi-Wan knows this as well. He will understand that it was only your heat that made you act differently. He won’t judge you and he would never be ashamed of you, not for this. Trust me.”

“But that’s the problem, Padme, it wasn’t just the heat. I’ve always-, there was always something in me that called out for him, something that I have always kept close to me and hidden. He saw me, saw that hidden desire and he pushed me away. He  _ rejected  _ me,” Anakin confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. He dared not to look at her eyes and turned his face away from her, softly taking her hands off him. “I can’t deny that part of myself that yearns and burns for him any longer, but I wish I could.”

“I know, Anakin. But you have to consider the situation you both were in. He had to reject you or else he would have taken advantage of your heat. Obi-Wan is a good man, a good alpha, he would never share a heat with someone who didn’t agree to it beforehand. If you want to pursue this, you will have to try it again.”

“There is no use in trying. There are too many odds stacked against us. I’m his former Padawan, we are Jedi and Obi-Wan is Obi-Wan. The order is everything to him.” Anakin stood up and walked to the window, gazing out to watch the sun settle over Coruscant and paint it in orange hues. The apartment began to encase him, it seemed much smaller than it was mere seconds ago. He had to get out of here, out of this planet, just far away from every responsibility, every confrontation still waiting for him. There was just too much happening at once, it threatened to overwhelm him and he wasn’t so sure that Obi-Wan would be able to help him out this time.

“Don’t presume to know what his feelings for you are. Your presumptions could lead you astray and widen the gap between you and him.” Padme smiled at him as she walked up to his side, sharing the same view with him. “You know, in my line of work, communication is the key to fulfilling my goals and sometimes you earn the best results when you are open and direct with what you want.”

Anakin sighed and turned to her, taking her hands into his. “Thank you, Padme, I will consider it. But now, I have to return to the temple. I better not keep them waiting for me any longer, I wouldn’t want to dig my own grave even deeper than I already have.”

* * *

  
  


The sun was already long gone from the sky and Coruscant shone with the artificial light of millions of beings as Anakin finally found his way back to the temple. He had to strain against a force that was pushing down against his shoulders to keep his back straight and his head held high. It was a weight that grew with each step towards the Jedi Council chamber, a weight he knew all too well, only this time around, it was almost more than he could handle, but only almost, because he didn’t regret his deceit. He knew down to his core that it had been necessary and nothing could convince him otherwise. 

When there were only a few steps left, Anakin hesitated, hands clenched as he tried to calm his racing heart. No matter what he said to himself, no matter what little encouragement he could find, he was beyond anxious. His future was once again as uncertain as it had been all those years ago, when he had stood in that grand room as nothing but a boy still wearing a slave’s rags, bursting with unrestrained hope and fearful of just another disappointment, his only reassurance the heavy weight of Qui-Gon’s hands on his shoulders.

As Anakin entered the chamber and took his place in the middle of the circle painted on the ground with all those eyes assessing him once again, he felt nine years old again, the memory so stark that it burned its way through his mind. The Council members built a unit of like minded people, each of them capable of deciding his fate and he stood in their midst, on his own. They surrounded him, enclosing him, he felt their presence in the Force, how they pushed against him in their quest to analyse and pick apart everything they could find about him. Most of the humans and humanoids in the Order were betas, very few were alphas and none of them were omegas,  _ none.  _ He was truly alone in this.

For the first time since he entered the chamber, Anakin lifted his gaze from the ground and let his eyes wander over the Council, surprised to see that Obi-Wan wasn’t present. The realization hit him and settled in his stomach as a heavy weight that bored its way deeper. 

“Where is Master Kenobi?” Anakin asked and earned nothing but incredulous looks for it, it almost made him want to snicker. 

“On a mission,” Plo Koon answered from his seat, not unkindly but much too vague for Anakin’s taste. 

With a nod, he dropped the subject and averted his gaze to the ground. Anakin had searched for Obi-Wan first before he decided to confront the Council, but he had been nowhere to be found and Anakin had assumed that Obi-Wan might already be waiting for him in the Council chamber, but he was truly gone. He had left him here alone to deal with this mess. His unease grew tenfold, he had to know whether or not he had Obi-Wan’s support in this, he had to know that not all had changed, that he had not lost him. For now, he was on his own and the more he mulled over the situation he had found himself in, the angrier he became. He needed Obi-Wan at his side and he was gone on some inconsequential mission. 

As Anakin heard someone shift in their chair, he lifted his head and stared at Mace Windu’s grave and stern face. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself to be scolded and berated. 

“Skywalker,” Mace Windu started, sitting comfortably in his chair, arms lax on the armrest. His head was slightly tilted sideways as he assessed him with cool eyes. 

“Yes,” Anakin replied, voice tight and restrained. He stood still with bated breath and buried his fingers in his robes as he waited for his judgment. 

“Why did you hide your designation as an omega?” He asked, speaking slowly and with a careful tone. 

A few silent seconds passed and he kept still, unsure of how to proceed. What could he even say to save himself? There was no use in lying anymore, the truth was out and his secret laid bare, he might as well just say the truth or at least reveal the parts that mattered. 

“Because I always have, from the moment I was born, my mother made sure of it. I believe we all know what happens to people like me. The moment someone finds out what you are, they do everything in their power to own you and then they either keep you or sell you to the highest bidder. I was already a slave back then, but I had my mother and to stay together, we had to hide me.” Anakin didn’t look him in the face, instead he stared ahead, his eyes unfocused, as he recalled his past, as he was forced to reveal the most private part of himself to people he didn’t even like or, if he was being honest, trust all that much.

“But you are not a slave anymore. Qui-Gon freed you and brought you here in front of this very Council. You were trained here for years, you grew up within these walls and you lied to us, to your former Master. In all those years, why did you not once consider to tell us the truth?” Windu’s voice was still so unbearably calm as he talked, as he picked him apart, it only infuriated Anakin all the more. 

“Because I didn’t want anyone to know, I was never raised in the creche, I was years too old. I was already so different from everyone around me, I didn’t want there to be another reason to reject me or to treat me even more differently, so I kept it to myself. I trained like the others, followed my Master and became a Knight like all the Padawans before me did. What I am matters little, I am just as capable as any other beta or alpha and I proved that with every mission I accomplished.”

“But it does matter and your last mission proved just that. You were singled out specifically for what you are, it made you vulnerable and resulted in you becoming unable to lead the mission, putting not only you at risk, but also your Padawan and Master. Had we known beforehand, we could have prepared for such a situation. Your designation was an uncalculated factor, it has been from the beginning. What did you even think we would do, once we found out?”

“Well, I have not once met a fellow Jedi who was also an omega, not one. It seems that we are not welcome here,” he replied, fighting himself to sound as unbothered as he could, but he heard his own voice tremble in anger. 

Mace Windu averted his eyes. “You are right, there are none other than you currently, but there were in the past. Unfortunately, omega children are often kidnapped from their families or sold by them. Not many are willing to give their omega children to us. There are already so few omegas out there and even fewer of them are force sensitive. But your status still would have held no weight in our decision to take you in, Skywalker.”

Anakin didn’t answer, he remained silent and turned his face away from him, gazing out of the window to watch the night sky. Static noise echoed in his head, the waves of it crushing against his skull over and over again. It sounded so easy, just tell the truth and live your life as your true self. His deceit had spared him all the demeaning, comments alphas directed at omegas, it spared him unwanted advances, his deceit had always protected him from humiliation and pain. What did it matter, if the Council would have accepted him, the rest of the world sure didn’t. 

“Were there ever any omegas on the Council?” Anakin stared at Windu, unable to suppress the scowl that settled over his face. 

“No,” Yoda answered instead, his head lowered as he usually did when he found something regrettable. “None there were.”

Anakin let loose at those words and allowed the anger he had kept at bay up to that point to rush over him, finally receiving something that made his anger feel righteous and allowed him to forgo the guilt that usually followed his bouts of rage. “I think I have revealed enough of myself today, now please tell me what you have planned for me. Will I keep my rank?”

“Remain a Jedi general, you will. However, without consequences, your deceit cannot remain. A period of rest, you will be afforded to adjust,” Yoda said.

“Adjust to what exactly?” Anakin furrowed his brows, confused. If he was to keep his rank, what would change?  _ A period of rest? _ Why not just call what it is?  _ Suspension. _

“We ran tests on your blood, you were injected with a drug that was designed to counteract any and all heat suppressants and without those, not even scent blockers will work. You have used such suppressants for the majority of your life, they kept your heats at bay, but not any longer. You will notice some changes in your behaviour and in those around you in the upcoming weeks and you will need to learn how to resist your instincts.”

Anakin nodded at Windu absentmindedly, his thoughts returning to the same point over and over. He would never be able to suppress his heats, every three months he would be out of commission. How many missions would he miss, how many would he have to abort? The memory of those fevered days he had spent in agony resounded in his mind, drawing a silent and agonized sound out of his mouth before he could suppress it. A sudden yearning took hold of him, he needed talk to Obi-Wan, more than ever. 

“When will Obi-Wan return?” He couldn’t hold his question back, his need to know overriding what little was left of his pride. 

“If everything goes according to plan, he will be back tomorrow,” Windu paused, forehead creasing. “You are dismissed, Skywalker.”

Anakin bowed slightly and stumbled out of the room, none of the strength left with which he had held himself upright when he had first entered the chamber. When the door closed behind him, he leaned against it, tilting his head up and releasing all the air and tension trapped inside him. After a few seconds had passed, he pushed himself off the entrance and lifted his head, coming to an abrupt halt as his eyes landed on Ahsoka, his Padawan.

From the lines on her forehead and the hard edge set around her mouth, Anakin could read her anger but also her confusion. She stared at him, her brows furrowing even more as he remained wordless, silent. She moved forwards and immediately stood still, drawing back again, uncertain of the situation. Ahsoka shook her head and finally dared to approach him.

“Master,” she called out for him, worry softening her voice. 

Anakin simply raised his hand and stopped her from coming even closer. He was too tired, his edges still too raw and exposed. Nothing good would come out of a confrontation now. “Tomorrow,” he said and began to walk away, heavy hearted and fearful of what the future would hold for him. 

* * *

  
  


Obi-Wan stood amidst the chaos that was the eastern landing site in the early morning hours, a never ending stream of people brushed past him, all in a hurry to complete their tasks, but he paid them no mind, his focus solely on the entrance across the site. He had spent quite a while waiting now, Anakin was once again testing his immeasurable patience. It had been Anakin’s idea to pick him up, something he rarely ever asked for and after everything that had went down during their last mission, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but indulge him in this and now he was paying the price for it, hunger and thirst nagging at his body. It was entirely unnecessary, but it seemed to bring Anakin some joy, so Obi-Wan crossed his arms with a heavy sigh and resigned himself to waiting some more. 

The last week had been more than taxing and he truly, from the bottom of his heart, desired nothing but a few undisturbed hours to rest. He had been left to complete the mission after they had thankfully made it back to Coruscant safe and whole, making sure that Stryka made it to her court hearing. It hadn’t been an easy decision to make, he had wanted to stay at Anakin’s side, but it had been his duty to guarantee that their mission would be a success, no matter the circumstances. 

When Anakin finally arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went up to him, his pace a bit faster than was warranted. Although Obi-Wan had had days to grow accustomed to Anakin’s scent, it still demanded his full attention. His scent reminded him of honey, it had such a  _ distinct  _ sweetness to it. It was the unique scent of an unmated omega and he wanted more of it, to get closer to its source and tarnish it with his own. He bit the inside of his mouth and forced himself to focus on the tension in Anakin’s body, the way his eyes darted around. He was so clearly uncomfortable in his own skin, Obi-Wan could not allow himself to worsen it with his own behaviour. 

While omegas were rare to come across, Obi-Wan had met his own share during missions in his youth, but never once had he come close to one who was not already mated to an alpha or at least suppressed. They lived their lives either as slaves in brothels or as trophies at the side of rich and deplorable alphas, their rarity making them highly sought after targets of the underworld. Those alphas perverted the bond between an alpha and omega from what should have been compassion and love to possession and domination. It was a tragedy, one that saddened and infuriated him, but there wasn’t much to be done once an omega had been bound to an alpha. And Anakin was an omega too, a visible one now that he could no longer hide, and Obi-Wan would do anything in his power to protect him from such a terrible fate. 

“What took you so long? You almost had me thinking that I have been stood up,” Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin when he only raised his brows at him. 

“I had to take a call with the Chancellor. It lasted longer than I thought it would,” Anakin admitted, already turning around to walk back to the temple. He sounded agitated and as Obi-Wan observed his face, he seemed to be deep in thought. Talking to the Chancellor either left Anakin in high spirits or more petulant and dismissive than any adult had the right to be, Obi-Wan didn’t know what to make of it, it only made him worry from time to time. Seasoned politicians were such a hassle to deal with, never quite forthcoming with their true intentions. 

“Well, if you want to make it up to me, you can bring some food over to my apartment, while I take a shower. Something hearty and filling, I have been  _ starving  _ all morning,” Obi-Wan said accusingly. 

“Only if I get to watch my show,” Anakin replied, a little less tense now that they had planned their morning. “I have already missed several episodes.”

“Now, we can’t have that, can we?” Maybe he could sleep through some of it, he thought hopefully, but Anakin probably wouldn’t let him, he was a very… passionate and avid viewer. 

“Absolutely not.” Anakin smiled at him, his face for once relaxed and eyes soft.  _ Thank you, _ it read. 

Obi-Wan nodded at him.  _ You’re welcome.  _

* * *

  
  


The shower had done wonders for his aching back, Obi-Wan could almost say that he was comfortable as he sat at his table, the holoprojector already broadcasting some silly drama, while Anakin prepared the food. Obi-Wan dived right into the meal once it was done, his empty stomach demanding to be filled. When his hunger was sated and he felt close to bursting, Obi-Wan stood up and cleaned both their dishes. 

Obi-Wan returned to his side, sitting down on the couch while Anakin sat on the ground. From his position, Obi-Wan was free to take in Anakin without being noticed. He felt comforted by the disarray of his blond locks, the nonchalance of his position as he watched his favourite show. It brought about good memories from those rare instances when they had actually had the free time to lounge about. Such opportunities had more and more scarce ever since war had torn apart the galaxy and forced them into taking on the roles of generals. All the more reason to revel in their time spent together as nothing but two close friends enjoying each other’s company. 

Settling deeper into the couch, he let his hand rest atop Anakin’s head to caress his silky hair and earned a soft sigh in return. After a while, Anakin dropped his head on the couch beneath and turned his eyes on him, his stare becoming more and more intense and searching with each second that passed in silence. Obi-Wan watched with rapid fascination as Anakin shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting out the air in a long exhale. He opened his eyes slowly and turned to his side to gain a better view of Obi-Wan. As he did so, his long neck was revealed, skin tan and smooth, begging to be touched, to be bit. Obi-Wan’s hand froze and he withdrew it immediately, taking a deep breath to calm himself, but it only made him conscious of Anakin’s irresistible scent. Without him knowing, Obi-Wan leaned down and came closer to his face. Anakin opened his mouth but not one word passed through his lips, he looked dazed, as if in a trance and it reminded him of the way Anakin had stared at him with burning desire when he had fallen into heat on Lur. He could have him, Obi-Wan thought, right now and right here and Anakin would want it,  _ want him. _

Obi-Wan excused himself and rushed to the refresher, Anakin’s confused and hurt stare following after him. He locked the door and went straight to the sink to splash himself with cold water, his body fevered by unbidden arousal. He raised his head and stared at his own reflection and saw the beast he had fought against all his life. Its hunger and lust were always coursing through his blood, ready to pounce on him whenever he let his guard down. But he had learned how to reign it in and keep it imprisoned deep within him, only letting it out when he was engaged in battle. Now, that very same beast was roaring to be let out and it wanted the omega currently lying in his lair, defenseless and willing. 

A sudden knock pulled him out of his bleak thoughts and forced him to come back to his senses. The knocking intensified, but Obi-Wan made no move to open the door, still not trusting himself to behave in Anakin’s presence. The alpha in him was growing more and more restless, demanding to be satisfied. “A moment, Anakin.”

“I’m leaving,” Anakin snarled after receiving nothing else for an answer, his anger was palpable even from across the door. His heavy footfall echoed through the apartment and Obi-Wan winced as he heard the disruptive and loud noise of the apartment door being hit shut. He walked out of the refresher and went to the living room, falling down onto the couch. The holoprojector was still on and showed a lover’s spat. Anakin would have loved the drama of it all, he thought bitterly.

Obi-Wan debated whether or not he should follow after Anakin but decided against it in the end. He needed rest and giving Anakin some time to calm down wasn’t such a bad idea either. When his body and mind had recovered from the stress of the last week, then he would handle this situation. In his current state, he had only worsened it and driven Anakin away. That boy could be so incredibly stubborn and unforgiving. 

With a sigh, he closed the holoprojector and shut his eyes, not even putting the effort into going to bed to sleep. The couch would do for now. 

* * *

  
  


The next morning, after having spent the night taking apart machines and droids just to put them back together in an attempt to rid himself of his rapidly growing frustration and anger, Anakin stepped out of his room and headed to Ahsoka’s quarters, despairing for the pitiful state he had fallen to. If he could just leave behind everything and start a new life somewhere. Maybe he could make himself a name as a pilot or an engineer, maybe he could leave the Order and live by his own rules. But leaving the Order was akin to giving up all the power and influence he had gained throughout the years and the galaxy was much too corrupt to allow for that. Anakin knew he was not destined to lead a simple life, there was greatness still waiting to happen. He couldn't simply run away from it. 

Anakin rounded the corner and came to a stop in front of Ahsoka’s door, which was opened before he even had the chance to announce himself. Ahsoka stepped out of her room and stared up at him. “Let’s go out,” she said, nodding her head sideways, then she started to walk down the corridor, stopping when he made no move to follow. “Come on, I think we both could use some fresh air to cool down.”

When they ended up in one of the meditation gardens, Anakin turned his head to her and raised his brows, more than unimpressed by her chosen location. She just snickered in return and her light reaction made him hopeful that she wasn’t overly angry with him for lying to her for so long. They chose a secluded spot and sat down on the ground, the earth beneath them was slightly moist but Anakin didn’t mind. He buried his fingers in the ground and grinded the earth between his fingertips. 

“I won’t ask you why you didn’t tell me, I think you’ve heard that question often enough by now. I mean, it still stings to know that you didn’t trust me with this, but I think I understand why you hid your designation, now that I actually had the time to think about it. I did some research and what I found- I have no words for it.” Ahsoka paused, looking ahead as her forehead furrowed even more. “I understand the desire to hide, I have my own experiences with unwanted attention, even if my being Jedi keeps most away, they still see that I am a girl and treat me differently for it.”

Anakin considered her words and sighed. She was unexpectedly calm, her words well chosen and kind beyond what her age warranted. “Did you speak with Obi-Wan before our meetup, Snips?”

“And if I say yes,” a smile spread on her lips, so wide that her teeth showed, and she leaned slightly away from him. “But that’s not why I am here. I wanted to ask how the Council meeting went, I was worried about you, Master.”

Anakin simply shook his head. “It went just fine, there is no reason to worry. I will keep my rank.” They could not afford to lose him in these times of war, he was needed on the battlefield, otherwise they would have already gotten rid of him. “I am still your Master, young Padawan.” He gave her a smile, a weak one, admittedly. 

Ahsoka gave a sigh of relief and dropped back, leaning on her arms to stay upright with her upper body. They spend a few minutes in comfortable silence. “Oh, before I forget, Master Obi-Wan wanted me to ask you to stop ignoring his messages.” She sounded amused and exasperated at the same time and Anakin even caught her rolling her eyes at him. “Actually, he demanded it.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. He crossed his arms and snorted, kicking against the soil beneath him. “Well, he’ll have to come to me first.”

Ahsoka sighed. “I hope you both will fix this soon. I'm just happy that I get to keep you as my Master. I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side.” Then she excused herself and rushed back into the building.

Anakin smiled to himself, but it didn't take long before his thoughts ruined whatever happiness he had felt at Ahsoka's last words. They always came back to one particular alpha.

Obi-wan’s continuing rejection of his advances still stung, Anakin hadn’t even been in heat and Obi-Wan had still clearly been aroused by him, his eyes had practically devoured him, there had been so much lust kept restrained by his tense body and Anakin had noticed it, he had smelled his fucking arousal through his scent, yet Obi-Wan still fled away from him, from his own desire. Was he so repelled by Anakin? By his own reaction? It just wasn’t fair. Couldn’t he see how much he was struggling, how he was still coming to terms with all the changes around him? 

Anakin had been so grateful to Obi-Wan for not once addressing the fact that he was an omega, for sparing him a long lecture about his deceit, but maybe he hadn’t done so because he was disgusted with his status, maybe even disappointed. Anakin just didn’t understand him and he didn’t dare to ask him. He thought Obi-Wan would help him through this, but where was he? 

Maybe there was some truth to what Chancellor Palpatine had said to him, the support he received here by his fellow Jedi was only superficial, he was only still here because they could not afford otherwise, but his presence as an unmated and unsuppressed omega was unwanted. Anakin could somehow understand it, what was he even worth now that he would be riddled with heats and instincts that told him to submit, to flee rather than fight? Not much, if he was being honest. What was he but an uncalculated factor, a constant risk that minimised their chances of success? 

Anakin drew his knees close to his chest and slung his arms around his legs, resting his head on his knees. There had always been something wrong with him, he had never been the Jedi his Master or the Council wanted him to be and now his chances of ever becoming that Jedi were close to zero. He just didn’t belong, never had, he always only wanted what he was not supposed to have.


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut and tender feelings took overhand, that's why I had to split this chapter into two, but the next part will probably just be a short follow up to kind of round it all off. 
> 
> Have fun reading!

In the end, it was Anakin who went to Obi-Wan first. Three days had passed and he had nearly gone mad, he couldn’t remember the last time in his life where he hadn’t been busy with something. So Anakin had gone to the Council to ask if he could be assigned with the investigation of the culprit behind his assault on Lur and had been denied the moment he spoke of it. They gave him some bantha crap about him being  _ too invested, _ of him taking it  _ too personally _ to wield any results and reminded him of his  _ ‘period of rest’. _ His reaction may have been over the top, but could he really take the blame for it after everything he had been forced to endure? Anakin didn’t think so, he had been in the right and Obi-Wan hadn’t been there anyway, which was why he was currently standing in front of his apartment in the middle of the night. This time, he would not allow Obi-Wan to avoid him any longer. That man was going to talk tonight. 

Without bothering to notify him of his presence, Anakin stormed inside the apartment and caught Obi-Wan in the middle of, well, meditation. For some reason, seeing him so calm and sticking to his usual routine threw him off and infuriated him even more, he had to take a step back. 

“Anakin, what brings you to me at such a late hour?” Obi-Wan asked, eyes still closed, his body hadn’t moved one bit at his sudden entry. Anakin couldn’t help the envy that rose in him, he had been such a mess the last few days and Obi-Wan was once again the beacon of stability, truly a perfect Jedi with his perfect hair, his perfect robes and his perfect behaviour. He clenched his hands to fists and forced himself to swallow down his ungrateful, childish bitterness that he should be above of by now.

“I need to find out who planned to expose me to the entire galaxy. The Council won’t let me take part in the official investigation, but I can’t let them get away with this. So, you can either help me or I will do this on my own. They can’t keep me locked up in the temple forever.”

“They certainly cannot,” Obi-Wan answered, finally opening his eyes and standing up from his meditation pose. “So what do you plan to do?”

“I’ll have a talk with that former guard, Stryka, and see if she knows more than she lets on. If she knows nothing, I will speak to the few bounty hunters who survived the battle. If they know nothing, than I will confront Tiro Kain. If there is any trail left behind, I will find it.” Anakin started to pace, unknowingly walking circles around Obi-Wan.

“I’m worried about you, Anakin.” 

“How is that relevant right now?” He spat back, brows furrowing further as he glared at him. 

“These last days, I’ve been thinking about you and this situation. I always knew that there were things you weren’t willing to tell me, things that you kept secret, but I never thought it would be something so important.” Obi-Wan didn’t look at him as he talked, instead he was staring off into the distance, hand slowly caressing his beard. Then he suddenly turned to him, dropping his hand from his face. “I can’t help but wonder what else you are hiding from me.”

In that moment, Anakin felt as though Obi-Wan was seeing right through him, as if he looked right into his core. Unbidden images of those hazy moments on Tatooine where he had almost drowned himself in the blood of those tusken raiders sprang to his mind, his conscience reacting to his words. But Obi-Wan could never know, because he could never understand that overwhelming urge for revenge, that almost maddening drive in you that wants you to kill, to maim just so you can fill the hole left in your chest only to realize that you cannot fill a bottomless pit. And that was just what he was, what was left of him anyway. 

“Don’t change the subject,” Anakin growled, turning away from him to escape that intense gaze. “The longer we wait, the less likely we will find any traces left behind.”

Obi-Wan came closer to him, so close that only a few, measly inches were left between them. Anakin averted his eyes, moving so that his back was turned to him. His heartbeat picked up as he felt Obi-Wan’s warm breath ghost along his neck after he had come even closer, his sandalwood scent reaching his nose and it was calming and blissful to have it invade his senses. Obi-Wan seldom stood so close to him. There was always that hand on his shoulder or an arm held over his chest to hold him back, but those instances were always only short moments shared in the heat of the battle, making him yearn for more each time, for that hand to rest a second longer on his skin,  _ just one second more.  _

Obi-Wan settled his hand on his shoulder, his thumb brushing against his neck, close to where his scent glands lay. “Why won’t you trust me? Why do you keep everything to yourself?”

Anakin sharply turned back around, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Don’t use dirty tricks on me!”

Obi-Wan began to laugh. “Dirty? You have a very loose definition for that word.”

Anakin crossed his arms and snarled at him. “And you have a very loose sense of consistency, haven’t you? One can never tell with you.”

That just earned him a raised brow from Obi-Wan, all amusement gone from his face as he waited for him to elaborate. 

“You-you get close to me and then you just push me away!” Anakin said, clearly agitated, and uncrossed his arms to take hold of Obi-Wan’s robe. “I can’t make sense of your behaviour. You confuse me and I’ve had enough of it.”

Obi-Wan sighed as he slowly pulled each of his fingers off his clothes and grabbed his hands. He began to shake his head at him, not giving in to his needling in the slightest and Anakin felt something snap inside himself.

“Just tell me this,” Anakin began, his voice as low as a whisper but not any less intense for it. “Do you want me?”

Obi-Wan tightened his grip on his hands and pulled them close to his chest. “Do you really have to ask?” The way he spoke those words with such a gentle and yet heated voice made something warm uncurl within his body, but it was not enough. “I have been terribly inept at keeping control the last time we saw each other.”

“That’s such bantha crap! Is that a loss of control for you? Petting my head?” Anakin scowled at him, indignant and furious.

Obi-Wan stepped towards him and stared into his eyes, letting go of his hands to take hold of his chin. “But I almost did more than that, didn’t I?”

“I wished you would have done even more,” Anakin confessed before he could hold back those shameless words. A hot flush spread across his face as he realized just what he had said. He promptly averted his gaze to the ground, his shame hot to the point of burning. This was not going according to his plan at all. 

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in surprise but he quickly pulled himself together. “I did more than enough. We can’t allow ourselves to fall prey to our bodies’ desires.”

“Why not? I know that you have not been living your life in abstinence, so why can’t we share this as well?” Anakin dared to look up again and stared at him with questioning eyes. 

“But never with omegas, Anakin. The urge to mate is just too strong and there is no higher form of attachment, we would be bound by body and mind, irrevocably.” Obi-Wan let go of him and took a step back, a sigh leaving his mouth. 

At his sudden withdrawal, Anakin grew more desperate, he couldn’t allow him to escape again. “And what if that is exactly what I want? I want to share the highest form of intimacy with you. We are bound to each other, the battles we’ve fought alongside each other have forged us into one. Our lives are entangled to the point of no return. We are already attached to each other, don't deny it!”

“We cannot forget the fact that we were once Master and Padawan. I’m so much older than you are. There is still so much potential for growth in you, I would never want to jeopardize that.” 

“But aren’t we equals, Obi-Wan? Aren’t we both generals fighting the same war side by side? Aren’t we a team? And you could never hold me back, on the contrary, you help me realize my potential, don’t you see that?”

Obi-Wan was still not convinced, his guilt and trepidation apparent by the way he held himself guarded, ready to put distance between them if need be. There was still so much resistance, his wants and duty warring with each other, struggling to gain the upper hand. 

“You know, you only list all these trivial reasons why we can’t have this, but you never once said that you don’t want me. For once, be selfish and just take what you want, I’m giving it to you, so just take it,  _ take me.” _

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes at him. "Trivial? I've made an oath to the Order. One, I would like to remind you, that you have made as well." 

Anakin simply ignored his reply, feeling the need to push and pull against Obi-Wan and it paid off, he could tell by his scent, it was unbearably strong and heady. He almost had him. "Come on, just give in. There cannot be something destructive and dark in passion if we are the ones to share it together. It's meant to be, can't you feel the way our bodies are calling out for each other? How our minds are already linked?" He paused to think about what else he could say to rile him up even further and a small smile played on his lips as he tried to suppress his own embarrassment. “I want you as my alpha, I want your bond mark, so give it to me.”

Obi-Wan’s expression darkened, a fire seemed to have been ignited in him and his eyes shone with its flames, boring right into him. He strode towards Anakin, each step more purposeful than the last, and all Anakin could feel as he watched the alpha advance on him was anticipation, gleeful and joyous anticipation. 

“I don’t know if I can yet. All I can give you is this,” Obi-Wan said as he grabbed him by his waist and pushed him against the nearest surface.

“We will see,” Anakin replied, mind already made up. They would finally make love to each other, once Obi-Wan could see how well they worked together even in such a context, then he would change his mind. Anakin was sure of it.

His back hit the cool durasteel of a cabinet, its edge uncomfortably digging into his body but Anakin didn’t mind one bit, his focus was entirely consumed by Obi-Wan who was nosing along his throat, letting his lips slide across his skin as he tasted Anakin’s sweet scent. It was overwhelming, to receive what he had dreamed of for years, Anakin could barely comprehend it. A fever dream, that was what this must be, his mind pulling tricks on him but Anakin surrendered himself to it anyway, powerless in the face of his own hunger.

Obi-Wan pulled away from him, body still pressed against his, and before he could put even more distance between them, Anakin grabbed him by his neck and pulled him back towards himself, pressing their foreheads together before he tilted Obi-Wan’s head up to finally feel those lips move against his own. His beard felt coarse against his skin but it only added a welcome ferocity to the kiss, a different sensation to the softness of his lips. It lasted but a minute before Obi-Wan drew away again and Anakin could only give a frustrated, unhappy whine in return.

Obi-Wan took a step back and let his gaze roam over his body, eyes narrowed. “Strip down for me,” he commanded, voice patient and gentle as he waited for him to follow through with his request.

Anakin took off his clothes with the speed of a man possessed, not at all caring about the way he looked as he did so. That wasn’t important at that point, the only thing that mattered was that Obi-Wan wanted him right at this moment and he couldn’t waste his time, not if he could wake up from this dream any second, not if it gave Obi-Wan the opportunity to draw away from him again. 

With an outstretched arm, his palm up, Obi-Wan beckoned him over and Anakin took his hand, leading them both to the bedroom with Obi-Wan’s eyes tracking every one of his movements. After letting go of his hand, Anakin let himself fall on the bed and supported his upper body with his arms, long legs spread across the mattress. 

“Do you know how often I have imagined this, us together? How long I have wanted this?” 

“I can imagine,” Obi-Wan simply answered, still standing at the foot of the bed, so aloof and composed. Anakin felt a hot flush spread over his body as he noticed that he was the only one nude and vulnerable, but he felt no shame, only slight embarrassment and eager anticipation.

“No, you can’t,” he replied quietly. 

“Then show me. Show me what you do when you think of me.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms, tilting his head up as he stared down at him and Anakin couldn’t help but revel in having his undivided attention on him. 

Anakin’s hand slid down his chest, coming to rest at the base of his cock. He engulfed it and tightened his grip the way he liked it most, moving his hand up and down in a leisurely manner for a slow build up. “In my fantasies, you’re usually also naked,” he said with a grin.

Obi-Wan smiled back at him as he walked up to him, sitting down at the edge of the bed. He opened a drawer of his bedside cabinet and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube, squeezing some of the fluid onto Anakin's cock. “To ease the slide.” 

Then he began to shed himself of clothes, pulling off layer after layer until his skin was finally laid bare for him see and take in. Anakin hummed his appreciation as he raked his eyes over his chiseled chest. His body was a familiar one to him, he knew each scar, was witness to most of their creations and had even taken care of a few of them. It was a body he knew, but not in its entirety and when Obi-Wan stood up again to walk back to the foot of the bed, his gaze automatically zeroed in on his still flaccid cock, its size and girth more than impressive. 

“I guess I will really need this,” Anakin said in a deadpan tone as he held up the bottle of lube, licking his lips. 

“Don’t worry, we have enough time to properly loosen you up for me. I would never hurt you.”

“I know. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Obi-Wan kneeled down at the edge of the bed and grabbed Anakin by his legs, dragging him towards the edge and heaving his legs over his shoulders. He turned his head to the side and began to litter the inseams of his thighs with soft kisses, drawing closer and closer to his nether regions. Letting go of his legs, Obi-Wan put his hand around his half-hard cock and kissed his way up from the base to the tip before he took it into his warm and wet mouth,

Anakin keened the moment that Obi-Wan started to slowly bop his head up and down and tightened his grip at the base, the noises made were obscene and arousing at the same time. While gripping the sheets with his metal hand, he buried his other hand in Obi-Wan’s auburn hair, neither pushing or pulling at it. Obi-Wan sped up at this, his tongue doing wonderful, delightful things to him, and Anakin felt himself grow wet, slick leaking out of his hole. An urge he knew all too well worsened with each second spent in a pleasurable haze, it gnawed at him, burning beneath his skin, and he had denied himself this many times before, either from shame or lack of time. It was an ache to be filled, to have something inside him, it was his need for his alpha’s cock, heightened by the way his alpha's scent was permeating the air. 

As if sensing his impending distress, Obi-Wan’s finger began to draw circles against his hole, collecting the slick there before he slowly pushed it inside. It didn’t take long before a second and a third finger were added, his hole already working to accommodate any intrusion. 

Anakin could only lay there, overwhelmed by all the new, unfamiliar sensations flooding his mind, he had never before experienced a high this intense, it built over time and spread through his body as a tingling heat, the slow build up just made him all the more desperate for the peak he knew was coming. As he finally stood atop that mountain and relief was just seconds away, Obi-Wan withdrew completely, leaving him aching and empty. 

“Turn around,” he demanded, leaving no room for any defiance. Anakin followed his order, eager to to please, knowing of all the pleasure that would follow.

Obi-Wan gave him a pillow to put below his belly and waited for him to find a comfortable position on the bed before he draped himself over his back to litter his neck with kisses, taking deep breaths as he scented him. Anakin lied flat on the mattress, his head rested on his arms, ass only propped up by the thick pillow beneath. 

From the corner of his eyes, Anakin watched Obi-Wan straighten his back as he stood on his knees between his legs, lower body pressed against him. He began to knead the flesh of his ass, giving an appreciative hum, and spread his cheeks apart. Then he leaned down and began to lap against his hole, his tongue tasting his slick. A surprised gasp escaped Anakin and was soon replaced by quite, soft moans. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, not understanding what was being done to him. 

“Tasting you, I simply couldn’t resist it when I saw your hole glistening with slick,” Obi-Wan said before he dived right in again, his beard scratching his sensitive skin. This time he put his tongue inside, along with his fingers, pushing against something in him that felt too sensitive to be prodded so crudely, his body’s reactions to it almost too strong to endure.

“Oh, fuck,” Anakin cursed, biting his lips to keep his moans from becoming any louder, his body began to spasm lightly, but it wasn’t enough to to get him over the edge. 

“Obi-Wan, I want you inside me, right now!” Anakin hissed and pressed his head into the mattress, trying to make sense of his overwhelming need to have something bigger inside, its maddening intensity unraveled him and stole all his pretenses at self-control. 

Obi-Wan gave his hole one final lick before he straightened up again, his beard was wet and shone with Anakin's slick. He brushed his hair back, bringing it into an even worse disarray. Anakin groaned at his debauched appearance, feeling somewhere between genuinely mortified and horribly aroused. How could he still look so aloof, so in control and painfully beautiful? It was truly unfair for a man to possess such a dignified and yet feral allure to himself. He had admired him for so long, Anakin could still remember how much he had worshipped his former Master in his youth and, in that moment, he was reminded of all the reasons why. 

“For the next part, I want you to relax, Anakin. Can you do that for me?”

“Anything for you,” he whispered, still in awe of the man that would soon become his alpha. He felt Obi-Wan line up behind him, the wide tip of cock pressing against his weeping hole and tried to relax, drawing deep breaths of his scent. When the tip passed the tight ring of muscles, Obi-Wan stopped, giving him time to adjust. The girth of his member was stretching him out, pushing his limits and Anakin could only bite into the skin of arm, open-mouthed and drooling. To distract him from the uncomfortable stretch, Obi-Wan began to jerk him off again, hand wet with his slick and precum. 

Soon, Obi-Wan started to slowly push inside, settling deeper inch by inch and drawing soft, little moans and whimpers out of his mouth. Anakin began to clench around the intrusion, seeking more friction, wanting the sensation of having his alpha's cock inside him to be as intense and profound as possible. 

“Hold me tighter,” Anakin begged, when it became almost too much to bear. “I want to feel all of you.”

With one final push, Obi-Wan bottomed out, a rugged groan escaped him as he draped himself over Anakin, pressing his heated body against his back. It felt like a revelation, like a piece of puzzle falling into its rightful place and Anakin felt contented, that unreachable itch finally scratched. Obi-Wan put one of his arms under his chest, embracing him from behind, and tightened his grip, a heavy, but welcome weight atop his body. 

“You are being so good to me, Anakin. You don’t know how wonderfully tight and hot you feel around me,” he whispered into his ear, mouthing at his neck, and began to slowly thrust in and out of him. “My beautiful, brilliant boy.”

His words only made him all the more desperate for release, his aching cock becoming even harder in Obi-Wan's tight grip, it almost hurt, he needed completion, an end to this madness. “I need to come, I need it so bad,  _ please,” _ Anakin pleaded, shame and pride long forgotten in his pursuit for more pleasure. “Just be harder, faster! Give me more!”

“I see you’re once again insatiable,” Obi-Wan mocked him and earned himself a harsh glare from Anakin. “Well, your wish is my command.” He pulled out and threw Anakin around on his back, giving him the pillow to put it beneath his head before he lined himself up and rammed his cock back inside, setting a fast and punishing pace with the same inhuman precision he showed in battle. 

Anakin rocked back and forth with the force of his thrusts and he was enthralled, utterly fascinated as he watched Obi-Wan become undone in his quest to please him. He still had that highly focused look in his eyes, but his hair was an utter mess, darkened and wet with sweat, and his guards were let down, Anakin could clearly see his pleasure, mouth left slightly open as he threw his head back once he bottomed out. 

His heart began to race even faster and he could only wrap his arms around Obi-Wan’s neck and meet his lips in a heated kiss, legs tightly wound around his waist. Soon, he felt something catch at his rim, at the base of Obi-Wan’s cock, it seemed to be swollen, enlarged and it put a weird, but addictive pressure against his inner walls. It made him want to lock down on it to keep it inside, but Obi-Wan still thrusted in and out of him, not at all slowed down by the beginning swelling of his knot. 

When they broke apart their kiss, Obi-Wan seeked refuge in the nape of his neck, his face pressed tightly against his skin and Anakin could only hold him there, fingers buried in his fine, soft hair. Their edges were blurring together, they were verging into one and Anakin felt as though only a total fusion could guarantee that they would never be separated from each other. He wanted to stay like this, intervened with the person he loved the most, with no shame left and fears for once forgotten in the bliss of shared touch and intimacy. If only it could last forever. 

There was a stutter to Obi-Wan’s thrusts, his pace interrupted as his knot had finally grown big enough to lock inside. Anakin felt so full, so incredibly filled, so much heat was pooling low in his stomach, it was a supernova spreading to every inch of his body, invading all his senses and making him blind to all but pleasure. Anakin’s hand fell from Obi-Wan’s head down to his shoulder, he buried his nails in his skin, he needed to hold onto something or he would lose himself to all of this madness. His mouth opened in a silent scream, head thrown back into the pillow, revealing his throat to the alpha knotted in him as he finally came, his cum splashed against their stomachs. Anakin's body was convulsing through the afterwaves, to the point where his muscles almost hurt with the strain of it. Tears streamed down his face to his throat and when Obi-Wan noticed the fresh wetness on his skin, he wiped them away with the back of his fingers. 

“I’m here,” Obi-Wan said tenderly and took hold of Anakin’s arms that were still slung around his neck. “I’m right here.” His words soothed a deep wound that had been festering inside him for years now, it touched that starved part of him that wanted nothing but warm embraces and kind words. How long had he yearned for this? How many nights had he fretted over their bond, so doubtful and insecure? But once Obi-Wan gave his mark, they would be mated to each other, then those days would be over for good and nothing could come in between them. He wanted it _ so badly.  _

It didn’t take long before Obi-Wan came as well, pushing in as deep as he could. Anakin felt lightheaded as he left open-mouthed kisses on his throat and waited for him to bite down, but his teeth only grazed his skin there before Obi-Wan pulled away from his neck. Confused, Anakin stared right into his eyes and saw that old familiar struggle again. 

“Do it! Bite me, please!” Anakin pleaded, desperate beyond measure. It needed to happen, it just had to. 

Instead of sinking his teeth into his scent glands, Obi-Wan bit into the flesh of shoulder, drawing blood and causing pain without the rewarding bliss of a mate bond formed. It felt utterly wrong, to be denied a bond mark. Anakin made a keening sound, it came from deep within and slipped past his lips, a futile attempt to appease the alpha, to draw him back in again. 

His face began to ache with the effort to hold back his tears, he would rather choke on his sobs, on his distress than let it be known. If he could have, he would have fled from the bedroom and disappeared into the night, but he was quite literally stuck on Obi-Wan’s cock and he would rather not tear himself apart and bleed to death just to escape the painful and humiliating sting of rejection. Anakin covered his face with his arm after he had failed to keep his tears at bay, refusing to let them be seen. He just had to lie here on the bed and ignore the pain for the next half hour, then he would finally be free to go. 

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan said urgently, taking hold of his arm to pull it away from his face. “Listen to me, Anakin, please.”

He only shook his head and bit into his lips to stop any sound from passing past his teeth. Obi-Wan gently gripped his chin and forced him to look him in the face. 

“I’m here, Anakin, I’m not going anywhere,” he palmed his face with both hands, softly stroking his skin with his thumb. “I’m here for you, but you have to speak to me. Don’t hold it in.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Anakin replied, eyes closed. He tried to compose himself and concentrated on the calming weight of Obi-Wan’s body on top of his, the heat of his bare skin and the comforting scent of his. Anything to reassure himself, to remind him of his presence while it still lasted. He should savor it before it was gone.

“Why?” Obi-Wan asked after he had waited for Anakin to open his eyes again. He was always so patient with him, so unbearably considerate while not understanding him at all.

Anakin didn’t know whether he should finally say what was really on his mind, afraid of being judged, of losing face in front of the man he had always only wanted to impress. There was always a risk to being vulnerable and honest, so was it worth taking that risk now? As intervened as they were now, no one could escape from the other. They were bound to each other and who knew if there would be another time like this. Maybe this was the first and last time they had gotten so close to each other. And at that thought alone, Anakin felt something close up in him, a painfully tight vice wounded itself around his heart. If not now, when else, he thought. 

“I don’t want to give you another reason to push me away. There are things about me that you don’t know, things that I will never be able to tell you, because I know that it would only disappoint and hurt you and still I want you to trust me. I want everything of you and I know I should not and I know that I will never have it. If you knew just how much I need you, how much I… how much I love you, you would end this right now and never let it happen again.”

Obi-Wan had let go of his face during his confession and had instead laid his head down on his chest, obscuring his face from Anakin’s view. When he had finally confessed his love, Obi-Wan had sharply raised his head and shown him the face of a conflicted man. 

“I know you will always be with me, but you don’t have to be physically gone for me to miss your presence. You can always just punish us both with distance and barrieres not needed.”

“Anakin, I don’t think you quite understand why I behaved the way I did. There has to be distance and barriers for a relationship to work, for it to be healthy. I pushed you away, not because I don’t want you or because I want punish you for your feelings, I did it to give you space to think, time to reconsider and to protect you from doing something that you could end up regretting. I always only want the best for you.”

Anakin furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw, stuck between feeling unsatisfied with the answer he had received and feeling relieved that he hadn’t been outright rejected. “But why?”

“Because, Anakin, I love you as well. I also want all of you for as long as you allow for me to have it. But we also cannot lose ourselves to this, to become blind to everything else.”

“But why can’t we mate, then?”

“A bond is for life, you cannot break it, you cannot form it with someone else and losing a bond mate is one of the most painful things that can happen to someone. I want you to have the chance to get to know me as a partner, to see how we work in a relationship before you bind yourself to me irreversibly. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s just that I want us to make the best of what we have, because you deserve no less.”

“I think I understand,” Anakin said as he nodded tearfully. “Just don’t push me away, okay? Stay with me, if you can.”

“I will,” Obi-Wan replied and kissed his forehead. “For as long as you will have me.”

“Forever, then.” Anakin smiled at him and averted his gaze, flushed down to his neck, suddenly feeling bashful. “I’m sorry for ruining the mood."

Obi-Wan simply smiled back at him and rested his head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his skin. "You didn't ruin anything."

* * *

  
  


It didn’t take long for Anakin to fall asleep after they had showered, worn down by sex and emotional turmoil. Obi-Wan was not that lucky, he was still too agitated and restless for sleep to claim him. There was simply too much to mull over, to think about for that to happen, no matter how exhausted he was. That hadn’t been an excuse for rest for years now. 

At least he had Anakin’s sweet honey scent to soothe the worst of it. He looked so peaceful and unburdened for once, there were no harsh lines, no hard edges distorting his face into a grimace, only the soft and beautiful features of a young man. It was rare, Obi-Wan knew that even sleep brought about torment to Anakin’s mind, nightmares of past and possible futures. He had once not realized the direness of those dreams and had come to regret it with every fiber of his being. It was a mistake he would not repeat. 

Obi-Wan sighed deeply as he turned his face up to the ceiling. With each passing minute, he became more exhausted, while he grew less tired. It was a terrible sensation, one that not even meditation helped him through. Minutes passed in a prolonged manner and thoughts grew ever more bleak when sleep refused to grace him and put him out of his misery. 

There was just that underlying sense of apprehension and guilt poking at his brain. So much had changed in the span of a single night, it was a turning point and he could not tell where it was going to lead him to. The future was headed somewhere unknown, uncertain. And Obi-Wan wasn’t so sure that he had done the right thing for him and Anakin, he didn’t know whether or not it had been a mistake to indulge in their desire for each other. The only thing that he was certain of was that it had felt good, more than good even, it had felt like coming home after a long, arduous journey, like the Force itself had willed it to happen. 

Still, guilt plagued him as he looked at the man beside him, eyes always drifting off to focus on the vicious bite mark etched into the skin of his shoulder. It had been such a close call, he had only been a second away from claiming Anakin as his omega, a second and nothing else. He could still feel that almost mind altering pleasure, the thrill of succumbing to his basest needs, of allowing himself a taste of the forbidden. He had loosened his durasteel control over himself and fallen into bed with his former Padawan. Such actions were doomed to have consequences and Obi-Wan could already imagine the Council’s rightful outrage and indignation. Their only saving grace was the fact that they had not yet mated each other. 

But for all the guilt and trepidation, he could not bring himself to regret tonight’s actions. Anakin had been so open with his own feelings and fears, had answered each time Obi-Wan had asked him, there was no withdrawal, no anger to diffuse his vulnerability. It had been everything he had ever wanted from Anakin, honesty and trust and to receive both had made him feel so proud of both Anakin and himself. 

Obi-Wan wanted to be hopeful, he wanted to believe that they could both have a future together, but he also knew that there was no way for them to have this and lead their lives as Jedi. There was no leeway in the Code and no place for a mated pair in the Order. It was, after all, the highest form of attachment to be mated to someone, nothing and no one else mattered more than one’s mate, you became blind to their faults and more forgiving than was reasonable, always putting them first. 

Maybe, once the war was over and the mystery over the hidden Sith Lord was solved, maybe then they could leave it all behind and find the peace they had both been denied for years in each other, maybe even happiness. And if he could not have that, he would be content to at least die by his side, as long as they remained together, he had nothing to complain about. Obi-Wan smiled gently, feeling mellow and sad beyond his age, and shifted his gaze back to Anakin’s face, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He could only hope. 


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A short follow up" ended up being my longest chapter with 7k, but that didn't surprise me at all. 
> 
> Enjoy this final chapter and leave some kind comments behind :)

Tiro Kain was a man that carried his arrogance and dignity like a second skin, refusing to part with either of them, no matter the circumstances. Neither being outed as a traitorous criminal nor weeks of imprisonment had put a dent to his high spirits. He still had that self-serving grin on his face that Obi-Wan remembered from the court hearing as well as that alpha stench so potent that he had to be emitting it on purpose. Such cheap ploys to intimidate, he thought and wrinkled his nose in distaste. The only differences were a shaved head and prison attire in place of the pretentious robes of a rich politician. 

The interrogation room was small enough that the alpha’s scent filled it out immediately, which was why Obi-Wan still stood close to the only entrance. That unpleasant smell just put him on edge, especially with Anakin so close by. 

“How can I be of help, dear?” he said, leaning back into his chair as he seized Anakin with curious eyes, grin widening as he sniffed at the air. Obi-Wan immediately decided to forgo his position at the door and moved to stand at the side of the table, knowing that he had to be able to supervise the coming interrogation closely. Kain conducted himself with much less decorum than he had done in the court hearing, having lost any reasons to behave at all. His position was long gone, as well as his freedom and reputation. A man with nothing to lose, bored out of his mind, and now he was presented with the opportunity to act out. Just wonderful, Obi-Wan thought.

With a sneer, Anakin walked up to the table as well and pulled the chair back to sit down. “It’s General Skywalker to you,” he said with narrowed eyes, broadening his shoulders as he sat with a straight back, arms tense as they lay on the table.

“Of course,” Kain replied, voice mellow to sound remorseful. “General.”

“You hired plenty of bounty hunters to take down a former guard of yours. I want you to tell me whether or not there was a human alpha male among them.”

Kain raised his eyebrows, his perpetual grin vanished from his plain face. He settled his chained arms on the table, hands interwoven, and leaned forward. “Why?”

“You are not in the position to ask any questions.  _ I  _ am the only one with that right. You will listen to me and answer accordingly.”

“Feisty and beautiful, what a combination!” Kain purred as he licked his lips. “And how curious, coming from an omega, but you truly are an odd one, aren’t you? You have risen far above your station,  _ General.” _

Anger surfaced at his words, but Obi-Wan didn’t allow himself to act on it, no matter how much he wanted to. It was not his calling, Anakin was more than capable of handling this himself and would probably not forgive him if he were to intervene and take over. His need to prove himself had only grown with the revelation of his status as had the number of people who doubted him and his unconventional plans. It was infuriating enough to watch, but it had to be much more worse to be the one to live through it. All he could do was to offer his support and guidance.

“And you have fallen to your rightful place, a small cell for a small mind,” Anakin spoke harshly, voice cold and biting as he stared the alpha down. “Answer the question, this is your last chance before things become unfriendly.” He raised his hand sharply and closed it into a fist, tearing off a metal plate from the wall and crushing it until the metal wouldn’t bend anymore. “Just a small preview of what lies ahead of you, if you refuse to answer me.”

Kain raised his chained hands and backed away from him, a small smile still playing at his lips. “Fine, fine. No need to get so heated. For one, I did not hire any human bounty hunters, and second, I didn’t even know that there were Jedi involved. I wouldn’t have dared otherwise.”

Anakin gave him a sceptical look before he turned his gaze on Obi-Wan, seeking his opinion. Obi-Wan moved his head to the side, signalling him to carry on, not at all satisfied with the answer. 

“Do you have any proof? Is there anything you can tell us to convince us of your story? If not, my friend here is a very talented Jedi, who can bore his way right into your mind, but be warned, it hurts like hell.”

“I have a record of the transactions I’ve had with the bounty hunters, but I have no access to my datapad and you won’t be able to find it, it was destroyed soon after my arrest.”

“I don’t know why you bothered to mention that. Are you trying to waste my time with useless words? Do you think you can gain more time this way? I want you to give me information that could actually be useful to me, not this nonsense. So, did you know of any plot to reveal my identity?”

“If I had, I would have handled this much more differently. I would have given it my personal touch, so to speak. I would have never passed off the opportunity of having such a beautiful omega to spoil. So no, I was not involved in whatever was done to you, it’s just not my flare.”

Obi-Wan moved to stand behind Anakin, resting his hand on his shoulder as he stared at Kain, keeping his face expressionless and blank. 

“I’m just telling the truth. There is no need for your partner’s alpha posturing. Although I do have a question for you. Were you attacked in an open space?”

“Yes, but how is that relevant?”

“That’s not how omega kidnappings are usually done. When you suspect that an omega is hiding their status, you choose their home or a warehouse as a location to lure them in. The less people there are around, the less competition to fight off. Whoever did that to you, he did not want you for himself. And let me tell you, I would have, as would have most alphas.”

“I think we are done here,” Obi-Wan declared, letting go of Anakin’s shoulder. Kain wasn’t going to offer them anything useful, he was simply spitting out filth, showing them more truth through his actions than his words, so utterly unabashed and proud of his own depravity. 

Anakin nodded curtly and stood up sharply, the chair fell back onto the ground. But he didn’t go towards the door, choosing instead to walk towards Kain, coming to stand behind him. He lifted his right arm and packed the alpha by his neck, using his metal hand to tighten his grip and push him down until his was face was pressed against the unrelenting durasteel of the table. Kain could only groan in pain, he was far weaker than Anakin. 

“I hope the years in prison will teach you the humility and respect you seem to have lacked all your life,” Anakin said, scowl deepening as he stared at the man beneath. Then he let go of him and went out of the room without looking back once, his stride as posed and dignified as if he was going into battle.

Obi-Wan remained in the room and watched Kain groan and hiss in pain as he was holding his nose, anger and spite distorting his face into an ugly grimace. He kept watching him, a wry smile twisting at his lips.

“What?” Kain spat out, face growing more and more hateful. “Did you not have enough fun in the court hearing?”

Obi-Wan raised his brows at him and shook his head. He turned around and left without saying a word, feeling that heated gaze on his back as he vanished from the room. 

* * *

  
  


“So this was just another dead end?” Anakin hissed, hands curling into fists as he stared out of the viewport with a glare so hateful and angry that everyone on the cockpit felt relieved not to be at its receiving end and held their heads low to evade even the possibility of meeting his gaze, working more diligently than usual. 

Obi-Wan watched it all unfold with mild amusement and exasperation. “Anakin, are you terrorizing our crew again?”

Anakin turned around as soon as he spoke, having been unaware of his presence. “Obi-Wan,” he said, almost airily. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“Well, anger can be quite distracting, right?” Obi-Wan jested, testing the waters to see how agitated he truly was.

Anakin rolled his eyes and sighed deeply as he approached him. “I’m just frustrated and tired, that’s all.”

“I know,” he murmured, grabbing him by his shoulder. “We have followed all leads that were left, interviewed every person that could have been involved and nothing came out of it. I’m afraid we will have to lay this investigation to rest, but you already know this, don’t you?”

He simply nodded and averted his eyes. “I was already surprised that the Council gave us this much time off to begin with. That should have been my first warning that this mission was doomed to fail.”

“I do know how to cut a good deal,” Obi-Wan replied. “And the Council is not as stuck in their ways as you might think. I actually came to inform you of our next mission. Plo Koon and his troops need assistance on Crir. We have to set the courses now.”

Anakin gave him a skeptical look and ordered the crew to change the directions to Crir, before he beckoned him to follow his lead, moving them both to a private room. “Why do you think they revealed my identity?” he slowly asked once they were on their own. “I am still not ready to let this go.”

His question didn’t take Obi-Wan back at all, he had been anticipating this conversation for days now, after having watched Anakin become more and more pensive and withdrawn, it was doomed to happen. Still, it was difficult to find the right answer to a question with such open ends. There were so many reasons, so many uses in revealing an enemy’s secret, but the problem was that they didn’t know the identity of the person playing chess with Anakin’s life. Was it someone close to him? Someone who could have been privy to his efforts to hide? Or was it some far removed key player who orchestrated this all by hiring spies to do his dirty work? Was it the doing of a thriving Underworld or just another scheme of the Separatists? There were no answers to these questions, only assumptions and dead ends and those only amounted to more and more frustration. 

“They could have done it to indimitate you or to ruin your reputation and by proxy that of the Jedi as well. But without knowing the identity of our enemy, we have no way to pinpoint the real motive behind your assault.”

“It just makes me sick to think about all the possibilities. I was so careful, each step I took was well thought out and planned. Not one day went by without me using scent blockers or suppressants, not one day. I have only ever told one person of my designation, Padme and she would never betray me. We as Jedi have so many enemies, but none of them could have gotten close enough to me to realize that I am an omega. And that makes me wonder. Was I stalked? Did some spy follow all my steps without me noticing at all? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I would have felt their presence.”

Anakin began to move around, the small room granted him little to no space for him to really pace as he usually did, which only aggravated the tension in his body. A look of concentration settled over his face as he finally stood still, brows furrowed together and eyes focused not on what they saw, but rather what he was thinking about. Minutes passed in silence and he didn’t move one bit.

“What is it, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked, more than curious.

“Nothing,” he began as a troubled look passed his face. “Just…”

Obi-Wan grabbed him by his shoulder and pulled him closer. “Go on.”

Anakin lowered his head before he answered, erratically fumbling around with the hem of his robe. “I think it must be someone close to me, someone who knows me personally.”

“Who are you thinking of?”

“It can’t be,” he whispered instead of answering, shaking his head slowly as his eyes became unfocused, stumbling backwards until his back hit the wall. 

“Trust your gut and tell me,” Obi-Wan insisted, words urgent.

“Two months before our mission on Lur, I had a meeting with Chancellor Palpatine. He wanted to congratulate me on my success on the battlefield. We talked all afternoon and ended up broaching personal subjects. He always listens to my worries and has advice to offer and during that time, I was struggling with my attraction to you and blamed it all on my status. It was really putting a strain on me and I think I slipped up and hinted at it during our conversation.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his brows and moved his hand to his face, slowly stroking his beard as he considered Anakin’s words. It aligned with the date of the assault on Lur and the Chancellor had access to data concerning their missions. He had known where they were at and where they were headed to and enough power to realize any plan he had. It fit almost too perfectly. 

“But it just can’t be. He would never do something like this. He has no reason to, he wants me out on the frontlines, leading on the battles and not at home, riding off heat after heat. He is my friend. It must have been a coincidence!” Anakin became more and more frantic as he spoke, hands flying around and eyes darting to every corner of the room. 

“Still, we have to pursue this. Don’t let your attachment to the Chancellor blind you to the possibility of him being the culprit.”

“We won’t have any time to pursue this. The war won’t allow us to,” Anakin murmured, still refusing to look him in the face, head lowered, but he was at least calming down now. “I will talk to the Chancellor once our mission is over.”

“Fine, but I will accompany you. It’s for the best to have someone neutral to the Chancellor be present during the meeting,” Obi-Wan said, taking Anakin’s hand into his and opening his fist to message his palm with his thumb. 

“Okay, then we’ll do this together,” Anakin replied, finally looking up from the ground. His face appeared ghastly, as if he was sickened by the mere idea of being betrayed by someone he considered a friend. Obi-Wan saw his doubt, his disbelief. It seemed that every part of him was straining against that very idea. 

“Anakin,” he began, pulling him into an embrace. “These difficult days will pass too.”

Anakin nodded and rested his head on his shoulder, turning to his neck to scent him. Taking deep breaths, he began to relax in his arms. “Tell me more about the mission. Will Ahsoka be there as well? It’s been awhile since we last saw each other.”

“Yes, she went there with Master Plo Koon.”

Anakin abruptly raised his head from his shoulder and stared at him, face frowning with worry. “Is she in danger?”

“No, they were both able to retreat safely, but their troops suffered a major loss. That’s why Cody and his men are already on their way to Crir. Now they are waiting for us to show up as well.”

“Then we’ll hurry and save the day as usual,” Anakin replied, a weak smile tugging at his lips. 

Obi-Wan simply tightened his embrace and pulled Anakin back to his neck, offering him the comfort he so desperately needed. These last months had put such a strain on him, the stress of it all was pulling at his seams and Obi-Wan refused to watch it break him any further.

* * *

  
  


The severity of the battle on Crir still weighed heavily on Anakin’s shoulders. It had forced him to use all of his strength, both in mind and body. And after having been forced to the sidelines for more than over a month prior, his return to the war had made him all the more aware of how much he had strayed from his path, but he had fallen back into his role as a General with such ease, as if he had never been gone to begin with. The troops had treated him with the same respect and reverence as before, to them, he was still the same Jedi General, unconventional, but efficient. Anakin hadn’t quite realized how much he had needed that and he felt grateful to the clones and his fellow Jedi for giving him his old life back. A life where only his achievements and actions mattered with the neutrality of being a beta to ward off any humiliating treatment. 

And now, after the battle was won, he was stuck in the medical ward, but he had only suffered minor injuries, nothing to justify the all the fuss the droids were making. After the med droids were done with their assessment and he was free to go, Anakin stumbled out of the room and went to the one on the opposite side of the ward. The door opened, but the one he seeked was not there. Where was he? Obi-Wan had suffered a graze wound to the side of his abdomen, he shouldn’t be up and about, but instead resting and letting his wound heal enough for his body to at least build a crust over it. That man was going to drive him crazy for good with his inability to let the med droids do their work on him. 

Anakin quickly made his way to the conference room and stormed inside, ready to confront Obi-Wan, but faltered in his steps as he faced the grave and worried faces of the projected Council. He instantly pulled his face into a blank mask and stiffened his body, allowing himself a quick look in Obi-Wan’s direction. Ahsoka was supporting him with her arm, she was just as serious and concentrated as the rest of them, eyes narrowed as she listened to the Council.

“What happened?” Anakin asked, his gaze fell back to the hologram of the Council. 

“The Chancellor was attacked in his own office, by a member of his inner circle no less,” Plo Koon answered.

At the mention of the Chancellor, Anakin’s eyes immediately darted back to Obi-Wan, who was already watching him with keen eyes, face set in stone. “How did this happen?”

“Political envy, personal grudges from the past and high ambitions will make a traitor out of any politician,” Obi-Wan said dryly, the double meaning lost on everyone except for him. Then he turned his face to Anakin, freeing himself of Ahsoka’s supportive hold to approach him. “He requested your presence. For an urgent matter.”

“Was he harmed?” he asked, still feeling worry for him despite the recent doubts that had plagued him. When it came down to it, Chancellor Palpatine was a good man, even kind, but there can only be so many coincidences before suspicions had to rise. 

“Barely, the assailant was stopped before he could do any real harm. The current state of the Republic couldn’t have withstand anything else, as destabilized as the war has made it,” Mace Windu spoke with a grave voice, arms crossed as he leveled him with a penetrating gaze. 

Anakin just nodded in reply, wrapping an arm around Obi-Wan’s waist absentmindedly, feeling his pain as an echo in his own body. 

“We will hurry back and come to Coruscant as fast as possible,” Plo Koon declared. “May the force be with you.”

The Council replied in kind and ended the hologram.

“Please excuse us, but I think I’ll have to force Master Obi-Wan here back into the medical ward before he finds another excuse to forgo his treatment,” Anakin said hastily, already turning around to leave.

“I’ll help you, Master,” Ahsoka called out, narrowing her eyes at him. 

“There is no need for that. I need you to finish the report on our mission and when you’re done with that, you can go down and help Commander Cody out, I’m sure he would appreciate some assistance.”

Ahsoka bristled at being dismissed so callously, but Anakin was not in any state of mind to think of a more sensible way to send her away, he had to talk to Obi-Wan, he had to do it now, on his own. He was so close to losing his shit, too close to have anyone else but his alpha at his side. 

She brushed past him, her footfall heavy as she stormed through the gates of the ship.

Anakin let out a long sigh and tightened his grip around Obi-Wan, before he excused himself again. Obi-Wan remained unusually quiet as they made their way back into the medical ward, no words of refusal passed his lips, there was no struggle at all, just heavy silence and absent minds.

Anakin pushed him into one of the rooms and ordered a droid to look over Obi-Wan again, worried that his wound might have reopened. As the droid did its work, Anakin leaned back against a wall with crossed arms and watched silently, building up the courage to actually start talking about what had just been revealed.

“What is on your mind, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked, turning his head to side to face him, still resting on the bunk. The sweat and tense lines on his face were the only signs of the pain he was in. "Just spit it out."

“It’s just…” Anakin began nervously, rubbing his upper arm. “I’m just confused by the timing of the attack, is all.”

“As am I, it’s highly suspect,” Obi-Wan murmured, sounding so very tired. He was exhausted to the bone and for once, he did not bother to hide it or try to conceal it from him. Anakin didn’t know whether that should make him worry even more or not, but what he knew was that he didn’t want to add to his exhaustion. However, there was no time to postpone this conversation, they would be back on Coruscant soon enough. 

“I hate doubting someone I consider to be my friend. He met me for the first time when I was just a child, newly freed and still so insecure about my future. He looked at me and saw nothing but potential for something great. He believed in me from the very beginning and now I’m suspecting him of betraying me. It’s just not right.”

“But you have reason to, this is not some baseless assumption. Your suspicions are warranted, but we have to tread carefully, he still holds the most powerful position of the Republic. We need indisputable proof.”

“Is it wrong of me to hope that we won’t find anything against him? That I want him to be innocent?” Anakin asked silently, head lowered. “What if it really was just a coincidence? What if he never even drew the right conclusion from my hints?”

“He did request a meeting with you, there has to be a reason why,” Obi-Wan turned his face away from him and stared at the ceiling, avoiding answering his question. “However, you will not talk to him alone, I will be there with you.”

Anakin nodded, feeling weirdly numb as he stared at the wall. There was an empty ache in his stomach and soon nausea followed, making his head spin. 

“Come here,” Obi-Wan said gently, moving closer to the wall to make space for him on the bunk. Anakin didn’t hesitate and quickly joined him, lying down on his side so they could both fit on it. Their faces were only an inch apart and Anakin leaned his head forward until their foreheads were touching, seeking comfort from the only scent that meant home and safety to him.

“Thank you,” Anakin whispered against Obi-Wan lips.

“What for?” Obi-Wan asked, brows furrowed as he stared at him.

“For letting me have this,” Anakin replied and softly cupped his face. For the calm before the storm. 

Obi-Wan just smiled back at him and laid his hand over his, closing his eyes as he let out a long exhale.

* * *

  
  


The Senate Office was a grand building, both in height and width, so much that it could only be seen in its entirety when one was flying high above the sky. It was the axis of the Republic and the Chancellor resided at its center, high atop, so far removed from the lower levels, from the rest of the galaxy. 

Although Anakin and Obi-Wan had landed on the highest landing site, there were still so many levels left to the Chancellor’s suite that it had taken them minutes to reach the entry hallway. There had been many trips to the Chancellor’s office in his life, countless private meetings, yet none of them had ever left him feeling this bereft of faith and courage. He took each step with nausea pooling low in his stomach and grew more and more erratic in his antics with every second they spent waiting at the reception, saturated reds and whites blurring together, the smooth, but stark lines of the furniture losing their edges and features. 

If Anakin could have afforded exposing another one of his secrets, he would have taken Obi-Wan’s hand into his and held onto it for dear life, but he couldn’t so he took all the comfort he could receive from his scent and presence alone, feeling endlessly grateful that Obi-Wan had demanded to come with him. He was his only stabilizing force at the moment, with Padme still gone on her off-world expedition. Anakin had thought of contacting her, she could have given him political advice, but she was so busy and he hadn’t wanted to bother her with another one of his issues. 

Anakin wished he could feel anger, he wished for it to be once again so strong that it drowned out his fear. But his status had never been as much a source for anger as it had been for incredible shame and dread. The galaxy wide revelation of it hadn't taken that from him, neither had his newfound relationship to Obi-Wan. This shame, this self hatred was etched into the very marrow of him, deep within his core, and he could not rid himself of it so easily, not when his status was a constant source of humiliation and degradation to so many beings. They wanted to see him subjugated, they wanted him to be on his knees, weak and submissive, ready to bend to his superiors' will. Anakin had realized as much when he had ventured outside the temple, seeking to investigate his assault on Lur. It brought his life at the temple into sharp relief, made him realize how much of a home it had become despite the alienation he felt there from time to time. Where else could his status matter so little but within those walls? With Obi-Wan and Ahsoka next to him? With his troopers at his back?

The receptionist finally called out for them, pulling Anakin out of his musings, and led them into the Chancellor's office, leaving them alone once they came to a halt at the front gate to the office. The doors opened, sliding to the side, and they stepped inside right away, moving in sync. 

Palpatine stood with his back to them in front of his desk, a datapad in his hand, the red highlights of his robes shone with the light that filtered through the wide window. He turned around not a second later, laying the datapad down as he fixed them with his steadfast gaze, the lines on his face seemed deeper, sharper somehow, making him appear even older. His expression turned grave and worried as he focused on Anakin. 

“How have you been, my boy?” he asked as he approached him, laying a hand on his arm. “I was worried for you.”

“I should be asking you that. You were the one to survive an attempt at your life,” Anakin replied, watching him with careful eyes, trying to decipher every tell he could possibly receive. This was not a private meeting after all, but a mission.

“We were relieved to learn that no harm came to you, Chancellor. Although I was sorry to hear that there was a traitor among your inner circle,” Obi-Wan said, leveling a polite smile at him. 

Palpatine turned his eyes away from him to Obi-Wan, returning his smile, before he walked back to his desk and sat down on his chair with less grace than Anakin was used to seeing from him, as if exhausted by the mere mention of what had happened to him. “This was not the first threat to my life, but it does affect one quite differently when the threat comes from someone you consider a friend. An ally has the ability to leave deeper marks and cause more havoc than any enemy could ever dream of doing.”

Anakin averted his eyes for a moment, his words rang true in his ears. He lifted his head again and took a quick glance at Obi-Wan, whose gaze was still directed at Palpatine, face open and thoughtful to the outside world, but Anakin could read his tension, could see the difference.

“I can only imagine,” Obi-Wan replied. 

“Chancellor, as worried as I was for your life when I learned about the assault, your request to meet me as soon as possible surprised me. Is there something I should know?” Anakin asked carefully, trying to find a way to gain answers without having his questions betraying any of his suspicions and doubts, it was a risky endeavor. 

“Yes, there is a reason why I arranged this meeting. Something personal that should have only concerned me unfortunately also ended up affecting you. I wished it hadn’t come to this.”

Anakin’s forehead creased as he raised his brows in confusion. “I don’t quite understand what you mean by that.”

Palpatine sighed and laid his arms on the desk, intervening his hands. “What happened here three days ago was not a singular event, but rather the accumulation of what had been going on for months now. Retwin has always been a peculiar man, there was always tension between us, but that is not uncommon among politicians and I thought us both to be above it. I miscalculated the depth of his antagonism and ire and suffered the consequences of my mistake.” He stopped talking and directed his face to the ceiling, pausing to regain himself before he carried on, his words spoken grave and heavy, weighing hard on his tongue. “In his quest to overthrow me, Retwin installed spyware in my office and became witness to all of our conversations. After months of surveillance, he found nothing to blackmail me into giving up my position and in his frustration, he decided to lash out not against me, but against you, my boy, and for that, I am very sorry. I would have never thought that my friendship to you could end up causing you so much pain.”

“What do you mean? What did he do?” Anakin stepped closer to Palpatine, agitated and unable to control either his face or voice. Obi-Wan grabbed him by his shoulder, a reminder to restrain himself, but restraint didn’t come as easily to him as it did to Obi-Wan. It was always a struggle, a struggle oftentimes hard fought and barely won.

“He confessed it as he was attacking me, right before he was shot down. It was a greater source of shock to me than the actual assault. He admitted to conspiring with Tiro Kain, they hired a separate bounty hunter to inject you with the heat drug. Retwin was the one who revealed your secret out of spite for me.”

Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder tightened, he pulled him closer, but Anakin barely noticed it, a sudden white noise in his head was numbing him to everything but his confusion, adding to his inner tumult, fanning the winds of the storm inside. 

“Do you wish to see the recording of the assault?” Palpatine asked, hand already hovering over a datapad on the table.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan answered for him, stepping forward to stand next to him.

Anakin could barely so force himself to watch the hologram, but when he did, there was a short moment of relief, it was a weak sensation that could not hold its own against all his other feelings. The hologram matched Palpatine’s narrative word for word, every second of it.

“So he is already dead now?” Anakin said tensely, somehow detached and out of it as he stared at Palpatine.

“Yes, he is, my boy,” Palpatine slowly stood up from his chair and walked around the desk coming to rest at his side, his hand once again a familiar weight on his upper arm. Palpatine remained silent for a moment, standing still before he moved towards the entrance to his private office. “I am truly sorry for what has happened, but now I must excuse myself. I still have to deal with the fallout of what Retwin has done.”

“Of course,” Obi-Wan replied, his face a polite mask, and bowed his head slightly as he watched him leave. “We should return to the temple as well.”

Anakin nodded numbly and followed Obi-Wan, falling into step with him, thoughts running wild as he walked through the corridors, unable to perceive anything but his own turmoil. Everything he had suffered and lost as well as gained ever since the revelation of what had been one of his most well kept secrets felt so meaningless,  _ so baselessly volatile. _ There was no personal grudge, no wider conspiracy to destabilize the military or Jedi, it was just a show of power, not even against him, but against the Chancellor. Anakin had just been a pawn, one used in desperate frustration, as a last resort. And suddenly all the anger that had drained out of him over the last days returned with a vengeance, hitting him with full force and almost knocking him out. 

He tried to console himself, thinking:  _ at least I was not betrayed, at least my friend is innocent.  _ He tried to cling to that notion, but it slipped through his fingers. The overwhelming feeling of powerlessness would not allow himself to hold onto it, it only allowed anger, anger that was impotent, useless for he had no one left to exert his revenge on. 

When they finally reached the landing site, Anakin knew he could not follow Obi-Wan into the ship, afraid of himself, of what he could do, feeling too out of control. So Anakin stopped in his tracks and watched Obi-Wan take a few steps forward before he came to a halt as well.

“Anakin,” he called out, clearly displeased by the renewed distance. “What are you doing?”

“I just need some time on my own,” Anakin replied and crossed his arms over his chest, unwilling to compromise. “I’ll return to the temple later. Don’t bother waiting for me, it’s already late.”

Obi-Wan sighed and massaged his temples. “Don’t do anything rash,” he said, exasperation dragging his words out, and moved to the open hanger. “We will talk about this, Anakin.” 

He watched Obi-Wan enter and waited for the ship to start, leaving the landing site behind only after the ship was high above and out of his sight.

* * *

  
  


Anakin returned to the temple the next day at dawn, a quiet presence slowly making its way up to Obi-Wan’s apartment, choosing desolate corridors over the main ones to avoid any unnecessary contact to others. His whole body ached, the exertion he had put his muscles through caused a constant strain with each movement he made, but he found that strain to be grounding, pulling him back to the presence when his mind had been anywhere but there.

When he reached his destination, he knocked on the door and waited a few seconds before it was opened. Obi-Wan was already walking back into his apartment, dressed down to only the inner layer of his robes, he moved into the kitchen. 

“Were you able to cool down?” Obi-Wan asked, his back was still turned to him as he poured himself a glass of water. He turned around, glass loosely held by his fingers before he brought it to his lips, swallowing it down as he stared at him. In the pale light of the kitchen, his eyes appeared brighter, their blue more intense, but it also showed the circles underneath, the tense lines around it. Another night with no sleep, it seemed, 

Anakin felt a pang of guilt, knowing that his disappearance had only worsened his exhaustion, he had probably been worried all night. “I told you not to wait for me, you should have just went to bed.”

“Yes, you did tell me that and I think you knew right away that I would not do that,” Obi-Wan remarked, eyebrows raised as he assessed him cooly. “I was actually busy doing research.”

Anakin pursed his lips and moved closer to him, burying his hands in Obi-Wan’s robe to pull it open, revealing the bandage on the side of his abdomen. “I’m sure your body appreciates what you do for it.”

“Don’t you want to know what I was researching?” Of course Obi-Wan ignored his comment, opting instead to further his own agenda, to focus on anything else but himself.

“Well, I believe you want me to know.” Anakin laid his left hand on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, his thumb gentle grazing the line of his jaw and earned himself a soft sigh in return. He felt Obi-Wan relax against him. “But if I had to guess, I would say that you were double-checking the Chancellor’s story. And is everything to your satisfaction?”

Obi-Wan grabbed the hand on his neck and held it in his own, turning Anakin’s hand around, fingers hovering above the wounds on his knuckles. At the sight of it, he blew his nose and faced away from him, jaw clenched. “Did you perhaps pay a visit to the prison?”

Anakin lowered his head, ripping his hand away from him, and covered his wounds with his robe. “We spent the night doing the same, searching for evidence.”

“Only your approach was much different to mine, don’t you think?”

“It got the job done and I didn’t harm anyone, only the wall next to him. So, will you finally tell me what you found out?”

“Nothing but what the Chancellor has not already said. Everything adds up to his story, down to the smallest detail,” he said, but his words didn’t match his face, he was clearly not satisfied with what he had found out.

“So he told the truth? That’s great news, but you don’t seem all that happy about it.”

“I’m glad about this. I can’t even image the ramifications of having a man capable of such a betrayal hold the position of Chancellor, the sheer scale of it, the Republic would not survive for long. But my gut tells me to be careful around him.”

“Your gut always tells you that about politicians, but he is different. He proved his innocence, so I see no reason for your distrust.”

“Just do me a favor and be careful around him,” Obi-Wan insisted, voice urgent and strong as looked him in the eye.

Anakin simply nodded, confused and irritated by Obi-Wan continuing suspicion, but not willing to prolong this conversation. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. Not if we’re finally back home with just the two us. There are much better ways to spend the time we got here.”

“As much as I would like to, we actually don’t have that much time at all. Since we’re both back on active duty, we’ve been called into battle. Ahsoka and Rex are already preparing to set off in the next hour. I would have commed you, had you not shown up already.”

“So we have an hour? Is that not enough time to have a little fun with each other?” Anakin walked up to Obi-Wan and cupped his face, tilting his own head down. He moved even closer, until their lips were almost touching, and began to kiss him. Obi-Wan immediately wrapped his arms around his waist and deepened their kiss, licking into his mouth, he was more vigorous than Anakin was used to, using more of his teeth, more force with each of his touches. Obi-Wan’s hands began to roam over his back, coming to rest on his ass for a moment before he lowered them to his thighs to hoist him up onto the kitchen counter. Anakin quickly wound his legs around his body to pull him closer.

Just as Obi-Wan began to pull off Anakin’s robe, both of their comlink blinked and vibrated, pulling them out of their pleasurable haze. Anakin wanted to ignore it, lost to all the wondrous sensations he was receiving, wanting more of it, but Obi-Wan gripped his hands and pulled them away from himself. 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to continue this some other time,” Obi-Wan whispered against his lips. “Duty is calling.”

Anakin groaned in frustration, but resigned himself to being left unsatisfied. He jumped off the counter and quickly adjusted his clothes, watching Obi-Wan do the same from the corner of his eyes. 

The time to return to battle had come once again and now they were back to pretending, to hiding what bound them to each other. The war never slept, it never ended and now it was calling them back, not even a full day later. It put an halt to everything else in his life, it forced him to let go, to compromise at every point, but at least he was not alone, at least he had Obi-Wan to fight alongside him. As long as they were together, side by side, Anakin thought he could endure it all, pulling in the strength to do so from his hope for a happy ending for the both of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished this and can now start to write my next wip, that I have been obsessing over lately. It's probably gonna some form of mob au with obikin, so I hope to see you there for the next time!


End file.
